sam needs a federer racquet...

here's the little Michelin Man!! haha...

a flower is not... a flower

the mid week has passed. i've learned how to make wiser decisions. never ever go mambo-ing on a wednesday night when you know you aren't able to take MC the next day because you have scheduled meetings/ appointments you can't escape from. sigh. i should had stopped and headed home after emerald hill. worst is you can't sleep it off because the minutes and all the extra yet necessary paper work has to be done. well perhaps i say this now that i have truly learned my lesson, but its bound to happen again with the past as my witness. i believe the term is... dejavu all over again.

on another note, i'm not sure if i should feel embarrassed with all the tender queries coming in. i think its a bad testament to the poor and lack of sufficient information. so many grey and unresolved details. i should seriously bury my head into the sand. so tedious it is because you don't want to make the same mistake twice.

i have a feeling that i am being overstretched again. but the more stress and busy i am becoming the more i wanna get away and avoid at all cause. i guess i'm feeling more crappy than usual today because of last night. most days i just take it in with fist full of salt.

i really am getting quite impatient. 30 more days before SH can come out and play. of course this means i still have 30 days to get my place all ready with proper cooking utensils and crockery. i'm currently scratching my head as to where and how we should celebrate his 100th day. something extremely outdoor... picnic!

SH is just so damn cute. i like.

i hate mondays... its that small window between sunday night and the monday morning before work. and i wish fridays would end sooner. don't we all agree?

why do i torture and inflict myself with such meaningless thoughts...

timbuktu...

sometimes life grabs you by the ass without any warning. one moment you're living forgetfully the next thing you realize how fast things turns. really you thing this is really uncalled for. and all you could just wonder and think to yourself... what the fuck?!

really sometimes you are just speechless. after all that and your still caught in the blue. what the heck did just happened??!

well... the last thing you would write about before hitting the sack.

but i must say... truth or dare is seriously very lame.

greatest regret...

today i have made one of the biggest mistake of my life. there was a talk about architecture and the community. one of the invited speakers was the national director for habitat for humanity. an organisation that i have been trying to get involve in, even if it was a half baked attempt due to my complacent nature. but anyway, it was an exciting time because finally a big guy was in our midst and a great opportunity to go straight into the source rather than having to wait in line to await the calling of duty. 

after talk i had wanted to approach the man as what i had always dreamt of doing. sadly i wish my face would had been more thick for things that really matter. immediately after the talk, my friends kept pestering me that we all should leave the place with immediate effect. one wanted to go see her dogs and the other wanted to see his wife. yes i understand their rightful obligation. so instead of pushing my way or just ignoring them i heeded to their proposition and left the place empty handed. the whole journey back i was just so irritated and agitated with myself. why oh why didn't i just do it. sigh. oh well i'll just have to continue my luck with the emails. even now i feel so pissed off about myself. idiot. i can never forgive myself for such idiosyncrasy. he was wide open and ready for me to devour. and i wasted good meat. 

sigh... oh well, atleast the talk has given me clearer ideas on my other proposition. i shall start writing my proposal to the good mother who works for the education ministry. perhaps she can help pull some strings. all for a good cause as always.

went over to Changi avenue to look at marbles in the morning. i still find the whole singapore way of dry-laying of marble ridiculous. first as you know, marble is a stone hence a natural materials. and like all other natural materials it has characters that is beyond the control of us humans. whatever that comes from the mountain is what you will get. its not like wagyu beef where the marbling of the meat can be determined and controled by the amount of  strokes and care you give the cow. unfortunately i do not think that applies in the same for mountains. but the funny thing is in singapore, people want to control everything. the grain of timber or the way it weathers... the type of character in marble patterns... and all other sorts of natural products. so because the developers in singapore have spoilt the end users with such luxury... we architects have to suffer by having to sit in the factory to sort out marbles in the way they want it to look. all this could have been avoided if they had just resorted to homogeneous tiles. these days china can do marble looking tiles. but ofcourse it just wont sell if its not a "natural" material. natural looking materials dont come close. so they want natural materials that look artificial. sigh. how stupid is that. imagine the amount of wastage. and already quarrying for stones is already an unearth friendly activity. so the government got cleverer, in order to be green, the option of natural materials will be out of the question. but i reckon since the mountains are already killed... why cant we go ahead with the marble by accepting the fate of its character. theres no harm to it... in fact it would definitely give a much more natural feel to the space. the romans have built temples out of marbles for years... and i dont think they ever bothered doing these sort of dry-lay sorting. hadrian's villa probably looked spectacular... even if the marble was all over the place. its all in the mind. now what in the world did i just type? bla bla bla... who am i to judge mother natures handiwork?!

the italians are probably giggling to themselves thinking we're a bunch of idiots... suckers!

for mom and dad...

okay... more like this...

rainy sunday afternoon...

now i can totally understand Ben's backpacking mission. well lets hope he can be as successful as Jesse in Before Sunrise. it is a magical encounter to meet someone at random. and meeting someone at these unsuspecting places and situation just makes it more sweeter. both parties find chemistry and aren't afraid to hide it because seriously theres nothing to lose and theres not a care in the world that can stop you from living that self created time. its sublime. 

a friend of mine invited me to watch her perform at a christmas party last year. it was at some mexican restaurant at Rochester park. apparently the singapore music industry is not doing her enough justice. they opt for good looks rather than talent i suppose. sadly i have to agree on that and i think she is really talented. 

stella artois...

sometimes i wonder why i spent the lonely nights working in the den. nobody seriously gives a shit on these projects and are just finding ways to avoid them. in the end... the one doing the work is the biggest loser. 

fuck lar.

so tired. 

i've yet to satisfy my tau hue at selegie road craving. i think supper is a romantic event. simply because it is a vice.

Friday is the presentation... day to call tender... and my last day to submit the waivers. shit. i'm no octopus.

as the saying goes... just pretend its okay and just take all the shit. never make enemies and be a dog to all. woof!

it's always my fault. i just can't manage my time well. i am not in the worst situation. some have endured worst. fuck you. i'm not you and i do not fucking give a damn if you're a shitty workaholic. seriously... fuck you.

Beaujolais...?

the weekend is over. sigh. jam session at southbridge had one its lamest nights. the free mic for all was turning into some karaoke session. horrible. probably the last night with ben before he heads out from the island. 

The ballet was the most amazing experience. the lady who played Anna was mesmerizing. my eyes just concentrated on her and nothing else. this was a million times better than the nutcracker. of course that would mean nutcracker pretty much sucked in comparison to anna karenina. plus they had a live orchestra. i must search for the soundtrack. i would had gone for both nights if i could. i was so hungry after the show. i think i used up all my energy just by focusing my attention and eyes towards the ballerina doing her marvelous pirouetting.

michi fujii... quite a disappointment. or perhaps it just wasnt her night. the crowd was rowdy and might had played a role in her no confidence.  or maybe she just did not lived up to my expectations. plain and simple.

the 21 year old was not as what i had anticipated of my idea of people of their age. and i have never met someone so cute in my life before. my eyes were concentrated. guess it helps when your mom works as a beautician.

note to self... i must stop dating people who live at the far corners of the island. my cab fare came up to be about 50 bucks. and i tot Sengkang was already quite a distance. 

slumber gathering at my place over the weekend. boys night in. finger nail painting... pillow fights... girl gossips and all that sort of shit. haha. fun. 

visited sunho on saturday. he is so fat and round. he's one cute little bugger. i just love pinching his cheeks. and those fat juicy legs... i can just sliced them off and fry them to eat. yummy.

saehoon and i kept gasping and holding our breath everytime the little bugger's face puckered, thinking he was gonna burst in to a loud cry. his mommy was not around leaving two guys watching him with dear life.

did not touch a single bit of work. 

the song Ballerina... is now whirling around my head. ahh...