sam needs a federer racquet...

here's the little Michelin Man!! haha...

a flower is not... a flower

the mid week has passed. i've learned how to make wiser decisions. never ever go mambo-ing on a wednesday night when you know you aren't able to take MC the next day because you have scheduled meetings/ appointments you can't escape from. sigh. i should had stopped and headed home after emerald hill. worst is you can't sleep it off because the minutes and all the extra yet necessary paper work has to be done. well perhaps i say this now that i have truly learned my lesson, but its bound to happen again with the past as my witness. i believe the term is... dejavu all over again.

on another note, i'm not sure if i should feel embarrassed with all the tender queries coming in. i think its a bad testament to the poor and lack of sufficient information. so many grey and unresolved details. i should seriously bury my head into the sand. so tedious it is because you don't want to make the same mistake twice.

i have a feeling that i am being overstretched again. but the more stress and busy i am becoming the more i wanna get away and avoid at all cause. i guess i'm feeling more crappy than usual today because of last night. most days i just take it in with fist full of salt.

i really am getting quite impatient. 30 more days before SH can come out and play. of course this means i still have 30 days to get my place all ready with proper cooking utensils and crockery. i'm currently scratching my head as to where and how we should celebrate his 100th day. something extremely outdoor... picnic!

SH is just so damn cute. i like.

i hate mondays... its that small window between sunday night and the monday morning before work. and i wish fridays would end sooner. don't we all agree?

why do i torture and inflict myself with such meaningless thoughts...

timbuktu...

sometimes life grabs you by the ass without any warning. one moment you're living forgetfully the next thing you realize how fast things turns. really you thing this is really uncalled for. and all you could just wonder and think to yourself... what the fuck?!

really sometimes you are just speechless. after all that and your still caught in the blue. what the heck did just happened??!

well... the last thing you would write about before hitting the sack.

but i must say... truth or dare is seriously very lame.

greatest regret...

today i have made one of the biggest mistake of my life. there was a talk about architecture and the community. one of the invited speakers was the national director for habitat for humanity. an organisation that i have been trying to get involve in, even if it was a half baked attempt due to my complacent nature. but anyway, it was an exciting time because finally a big guy was in our midst and a great opportunity to go straight into the source rather than having to wait in line to await the calling of duty. 

after talk i had wanted to approach the man as what i had always dreamt of doing. sadly i wish my face would had been more thick for things that really matter. immediately after the talk, my friends kept pestering me that we all should leave the place with immediate effect. one wanted to go see her dogs and the other wanted to see his wife. yes i understand their rightful obligation. so instead of pushing my way or just ignoring them i heeded to their proposition and left the place empty handed. the whole journey back i was just so irritated and agitated with myself. why oh why didn't i just do it. sigh. oh well i'll just have to continue my luck with the emails. even now i feel so pissed off about myself. idiot. i can never forgive myself for such idiosyncrasy. he was wide open and ready for me to devour. and i wasted good meat. 

sigh... oh well, atleast the talk has given me clearer ideas on my other proposition. i shall start writing my proposal to the good mother who works for the education ministry. perhaps she can help pull some strings. all for a good cause as always.

went over to Changi avenue to look at marbles in the morning. i still find the whole singapore way of dry-laying of marble ridiculous. first as you know, marble is a stone hence a natural materials. and like all other natural materials it has characters that is beyond the control of us humans. whatever that comes from the mountain is what you will get. its not like wagyu beef where the marbling of the meat can be determined and controled by the amount of  strokes and care you give the cow. unfortunately i do not think that applies in the same for mountains. but the funny thing is in singapore, people want to control everything. the grain of timber or the way it weathers... the type of character in marble patterns... and all other sorts of natural products. so because the developers in singapore have spoilt the end users with such luxury... we architects have to suffer by having to sit in the factory to sort out marbles in the way they want it to look. all this could have been avoided if they had just resorted to homogeneous tiles. these days china can do marble looking tiles. but ofcourse it just wont sell if its not a "natural" material. natural looking materials dont come close. so they want natural materials that look artificial. sigh. how stupid is that. imagine the amount of wastage. and already quarrying for stones is already an unearth friendly activity. so the government got cleverer, in order to be green, the option of natural materials will be out of the question. but i reckon since the mountains are already killed... why cant we go ahead with the marble by accepting the fate of its character. theres no harm to it... in fact it would definitely give a much more natural feel to the space. the romans have built temples out of marbles for years... and i dont think they ever bothered doing these sort of dry-lay sorting. hadrian's villa probably looked spectacular... even if the marble was all over the place. its all in the mind. now what in the world did i just type? bla bla bla... who am i to judge mother natures handiwork?!

the italians are probably giggling to themselves thinking we're a bunch of idiots... suckers!

for mom and dad...

okay... more like this...

rainy sunday afternoon...

now i can totally understand Ben's backpacking mission. well lets hope he can be as successful as Jesse in Before Sunrise. it is a magical encounter to meet someone at random. and meeting someone at these unsuspecting places and situation just makes it more sweeter. both parties find chemistry and aren't afraid to hide it because seriously theres nothing to lose and theres not a care in the world that can stop you from living that self created time. its sublime. 

a friend of mine invited me to watch her perform at a christmas party last year. it was at some mexican restaurant at Rochester park. apparently the singapore music industry is not doing her enough justice. they opt for good looks rather than talent i suppose. sadly i have to agree on that and i think she is really talented. 

stella artois...

sometimes i wonder why i spent the lonely nights working in the den. nobody seriously gives a shit on these projects and are just finding ways to avoid them. in the end... the one doing the work is the biggest loser. 

fuck lar.

so tired. 

i've yet to satisfy my tau hue at selegie road craving. i think supper is a romantic event. simply because it is a vice.

Friday is the presentation... day to call tender... and my last day to submit the waivers. shit. i'm no octopus.

as the saying goes... just pretend its okay and just take all the shit. never make enemies and be a dog to all. woof!

it's always my fault. i just can't manage my time well. i am not in the worst situation. some have endured worst. fuck you. i'm not you and i do not fucking give a damn if you're a shitty workaholic. seriously... fuck you.

Beaujolais...?

the weekend is over. sigh. jam session at southbridge had one its lamest nights. the free mic for all was turning into some karaoke session. horrible. probably the last night with ben before he heads out from the island. 

The ballet was the most amazing experience. the lady who played Anna was mesmerizing. my eyes just concentrated on her and nothing else. this was a million times better than the nutcracker. of course that would mean nutcracker pretty much sucked in comparison to anna karenina. plus they had a live orchestra. i must search for the soundtrack. i would had gone for both nights if i could. i was so hungry after the show. i think i used up all my energy just by focusing my attention and eyes towards the ballerina doing her marvelous pirouetting.

michi fujii... quite a disappointment. or perhaps it just wasnt her night. the crowd was rowdy and might had played a role in her no confidence.  or maybe she just did not lived up to my expectations. plain and simple.

the 21 year old was not as what i had anticipated of my idea of people of their age. and i have never met someone so cute in my life before. my eyes were concentrated. guess it helps when your mom works as a beautician.

note to self... i must stop dating people who live at the far corners of the island. my cab fare came up to be about 50 bucks. and i tot Sengkang was already quite a distance. 

slumber gathering at my place over the weekend. boys night in. finger nail painting... pillow fights... girl gossips and all that sort of shit. haha. fun. 

visited sunho on saturday. he is so fat and round. he's one cute little bugger. i just love pinching his cheeks. and those fat juicy legs... i can just sliced them off and fry them to eat. yummy.

saehoon and i kept gasping and holding our breath everytime the little bugger's face puckered, thinking he was gonna burst in to a loud cry. his mommy was not around leaving two guys watching him with dear life.

did not touch a single bit of work. 

the song Ballerina... is now whirling around my head. ahh...

funny...

i find this video strangely amusing. haha. i know its supposed to be a sad video. but i dunno why i was laughing so hard while watching it. HungCai would kill me if he found out that i posted this one. but its for my own record...

haha.

so exciting... ben is coming on thursday. and i've got a secret date for him installed. haha. 

michi fujii... anna karenina... monteiro + watts + brecker.

lebron james is lacking and in need of a scottie pippen to win.

stardust...

couldn't sleep. tossing and turning just thinking about a stupid door detail. its quite tricky how to work out the strike plate unto the door frame. thats the result when you act a smarty pants and decided to customize the door frame. but standard proprietary types just don't go well with my pivot system. i hope stainless steel is not an overkill. i have to figure out the door swing in relation to the interfacing of roller catch to the roller. must avoid line smudge unto the wall finish caused by the door swing. must remember to include non-directional hairline finish in my documents. very important.  

its funny how these small things can keep you up all night. the past 2 nights i have been sleeping at 4am. i think that has somewhat screwed up my biological clock system. plus the fact of all these details that have been occupying the majority of my thoughts. work pile has been escalating. jam has become more detached towards the project, leaving me with more responsibilities in running the technical aspects. and i still have to work out the 

elevations and first storey plan for crescent project. how on earth can i make the basement car park naturally ventilated yet ensure the cars are still dry from the rain?? especially when the openings has to sit right above the car parks. tight sites are the toughest to work on. especially when the original designer left no room for any flexibility and leaving the whole pile of shit for me to resolve. design review on monday and i still have nothing on my plate for that. 

it's no wonder i can't make myself sleep. so now i've decided to get out of bed and pour myself some whisky. perhaps that would help kill my brain cells for the night. i need a rocking bed to make me sleep and more whisky. thats how most architects die young.

i'll try again. i need to sleep. my body is tired. the devil IS the detail! bloody hell.

mid week...

Here are some math problems that i bet the engineers in the family cant solve. haha. Don't look at me... i'm an architect.

my project at bukit timah is becoming a full time thing. i probably can just station myself on site permanently. the contractor assumes we go down to the site everyday. and they say we hurt their feelings... i think we spoilt them. so unfair. 

lately i have been getting back into the habit of waking up early. something that i started doing towards the end of last year. well, the current motivation for my early rise is work. i think i write/ reply emails better in the morning. i realised that my emails are rather cranky/ angry/ irritated sounding when i write after hours. so perhaps with morning coffee and fresh mind. i would have a positive respond to things. 

apart from my newly purchased CDs. my other current listen ( and i would definitely rate this as the artist of the month) is Peace Orchestra a.k.a Peter Kruder. old stuff yet i never get tired of listening. its hypnotic. i especially like to listen to his tracks when i wanna get in the zone or when i'm emotionally/ physically fatigue. it helps numb the senses and drowns out the bosses incessant yelling and the background.  

i find this project very cute. remember back in the days when you discovered a whole new world under the table? tempering with your sense of scale.  its by this japanese architectural firm SpaceSpace

no particular... (monday) blues

recently gramaphone was having a clearance sales (which has been ongoing for almost a year). anyway, so i decided to snoop around the store. the cd's were going out as cheap at a dollar. i stumbled upon this CD...

plain acoustic piano with conversations between Mehldau and Marian at every intervals of piano playing. very interesting. it does give reverence to each song played.

i am sure by now all of you would know that the piano is my most favorite instrument. with great regret i do not know how to play the piano. i would also add that Renzo Piano is also one of my favorite architect. however they have no direct relation whatsoever. it was just pure randomness that i decided to mention my admiration for the architect. 

I can't believe a 90 year old women can still play with so much grace and there is this touch of innocence in the way she weaves the melodies. very different from Mehldau's.

despite her age... she does not seem like her fingers are failing her. okay i shall not insult any further. many have said that i have a negative perspective to things (i do not need your concurrence in this matter). 

throughout the CD i felt in some ways she was flirting with him through the music. haha. but at 90, she still has that spirit of learning. deeply admirable.

crazy thing... this vintage lady was the reason behind the birth of Mehldau. freaky stuff.

other newly purchased CDs. christian scott, cachiato, patricia kaas, laura fygi, colormebadd (for a freakin dollar). just to name a few.

when the sun is high... in the afternoon sky

happy mother's day.

last night over drinks with lai, we decided that we should sign up for yoga classes. the thought of us agreeing that we should try it out was hilarious. simply because i had been contemplating of signing up before but just never had the motivation to actually go for it. 

we both agreed that one very important criteria is that we should go for the unisex yoga classes. simply because it would be much more interesting and less of a target for people of the same sex. 

did you know that one hour of yoga session is equivalent of running 4 kilometres in 2 hours. or something like that. imagine the amount of calories burnt in just one session. haha.

i am beginning to develop a belly again. yesterday i decided to wear my blue wave t-shirt. after fitting it on, i couldnt help but notice the pear shape around the tummy waist line. it looked horrendously gross. and so i immediately changed my t-shirt to another less tight one and felt very sad after.  my exercising regime has been very in-consistent. i have been struggling to get up earlier on saturday mornings. i feel so lethargic. 

in love... in vain

(this entry has been removed and relocated)

spring is here...

back from the land of century egg congee, dim sum, juicy fat char siu, roast goose, Portuguese tarts, and many many more wonderful food!

such a pity the tour gang were not so much of food people. each time i run off to get a snack they would always give me a look that i'm some sort of a glut. its not a place to have just 3 proper meals a day. its snack snack snack. hahha!

work starts tomorrow... dread. whoa i spent the whole evening of return doing the laundry and unpacking. of course i did not forget my baby. the first thing i did was to turn her on. wah... magical.

anyway, some highlight snap shots. i'm not a very good photographer (as of most people are) and i do not carry a huge fancy camera (as of most people do). but what i lack in skills i make up with Heart. uiseh... ceh.

HK's main star attraction... the building comes alive at night.

i must give it to them... preserving their heritage and history despite all that modernity 
art and culture at the waterfront... penny for your thought?
sad yet enchanting... my hostel was just next to it. not much different.
still a surreal landscape to me... 
magnificent... in a tacky way.
its all in the outer appearance... whats inside does not really matter.
foster was here...
the million dollar skyline...
Macau and its churches... endless.
no durian spikes...
breathtaking... 

so while the whole gang will probably gloat of how much they enjoyed themselves over at BeerFest during the weekend... i will tell them how many "chio bu" i've seen.

blame it on my youth...

staring in front of my imac while typing this entry is just surreal. i never imagined this very day would come. i was having butterflies in my tummy as i was on way to receive this beau. its almost like seeing your first born child being brought into this world. haha. SH would kill me if he finds out i made such comparison.

of course the whole macintosh thing isnt a new thing for me. given that i am already an avid cult member for the past 7 years. but this is my first very own desktop purchased using my hard earn cash. and the monitor is just so friggin huge. things will never ever be the same again. the last desktop i had was during my first year of college before i became a Mac convert. but it was a second hand desktop. the specs was customized, hence it wasnt a bad PC. it was capable of playing computer games and it was where i tried my first hand on photoshop and autocad.

this definitely marks a new phase in my life or so SH says. and he followed up by saying... "and now all you need is a gf..." i was like... "what the... ?!"

but instead of posting photos of my iMac. i shall instead upload a picture of SunHo the grumpy little baby.

*note: this is the first time i'm holding an infant in my entire life.


i asked SH's dad of how it feels to be a grandfather now. instead he told me that he will not officially be a grandfather until SunHo actually acknowledges him as his grandfather. haha. SH's dad is very nice. seriously my whole perception of koreans has changed.

and so... whats the first thing i should use my mac for? install microsoft word and type out my minutes of course!

just say yes... dammit.

the weekend has ended. it was a rather eventful weekend to say the least.

i just bought a new external hard disk. i am seriously running out of space. i've accumulated so much junk until my current external hard drive is incapable of storing them. its time i clear all my junk from my office PC.

Anna Karenina @ esplanade performed by the Finnish National Ballet at the end of May. i should purchase my tics. i must say, i really dun like it when they do they tip-toe dancing routines. it always makes me feel uncomfortable. but i love how the way they sway their bodies. so flexible and... sexual. oh! sexual healing...

3 business days...

on my way back from bible class i decided to tune my ipod to Buble. i have not listen to his songs for quite sometime. and i stumbled on "save the last dance for me". a very catchy tune. always makes you feel like dancing along unlike the majority of his tracks that are usually more mellowed. but anyway,everytime i listen to this song. it always brings back good memories of the road trip. i think it was to the great ocean road with my then cell group and when i was with jm. haha. most of the time the trip was rather stressful. man, try being a cell leader for a disproportianate group of girls/ guys and the latter being the minority. the fun part however was during our journey in the car. it was the first time i saw the tall boy dancing to the music. he was usually quite shy and solemn. but anyway i think he really liked that song. because we kept looping it. ah those were the care free days. remembering the tall boy... who is still a boy. the last i heard of him was he became the chairman of OCF. rather ironic given that back then all he wanted to do was hide and made plans to leave. things change, but i think its because he made more friends and felt more accepted. thats always the case i guess. when someone feels negative about something, its usually because he feels the lack of acceptance. plus he got together with jm's mentee - theconstantlydistressedgirl. strange combo.

oh! and i just realise that you can pay your bills online! amazing stuff. singapore is really advance man. i was compiling all my bills this morning to make payment at the SAM machine on my way to work, then suddenly i saw some tiny footnote about online payment. and it hit me... maybe i can pay this online. so! i did! then i tried paying my credit card bills... unfortunately that didnt go down so well. sigh. so inconvenient.

now that 2 people have handed in their resignation letter. the whole office is in silent chaos. most are rather shock to be losing the funny guys. at first they were not sure who exactly threw in their letters. so they started analysing every colleague. of coz we who knew just kept quiet. because its not in our business to say. i was surprise that when it came to me. no one gave much of a thought that i would resign. in fact one said taht if i were to be fired, i would be holding on dearly to the front door begging not to be. man their comment was taht i die die must stay to become one of the directors. damn. im not as steady as they think man. sigh.

also... i've finally put my money down on the imac. arriving soon. man... its 2 dollar chicken rice from here on for me. say goodbye to yakitoris and juicy steaks. sad.
at first, me and SH decided to go down the apple store after work yesterday to get the mac there and then. we were so excited. well i was excited and block out all negativity of spending so much money, and SH was just kaypoh and wanted to feed his happiness and envy through me. haha. because now that he has a kid, he must sacrifice his dreams of getting a mac. man i feel sad for him. i'm livin his dream. imagine, he downloaded all the relevant mac software and did thorough research on it and was all set. in the end, his research became my benefit and all the software will be installed into MY IMAC! muahahahaha.
he even brought his digital cum video camera to record this memoriable moment, which i thought was abit strange. it was weird having him filming the whole event of getting the mac. unfortunately, after negotiating and inquiring on the mac, we decided not to get it from the store but rather purchase the thing online. the people were short changing us and the fella smell of cigarettes. he looked rather sleazy as well trying to cheat a poor little malaysian. we concluded that it was far more worth it to get it online.

and so.... i did! it was a happy yet very very painful experience. you all should had seen me struggling and how hard it was for me just to click on the purchase button.
but i figured... given that i have no real commitments and debts... so why not? dun wanna make such a decision when im married and about to have kids. haha.
well i suggested SH that he can still opt for a trade-in. im sure sunho can fetch for a pretty decent mac. in fact he probably can trade-in for the power mac. awesomeness. he thought i was crazy.

sigh. beauty above all matters. imagine... i have 1000 gigabytes of harddisk space! thats ultimate kiasuness.

oh my goodness! just realise that the playoffs are on. heard over the radio when i was waiting for them to do re-runs of date-mate. wanted to listen in to the recent date-mate winner who is also a friend of mine. haha. lai signed up for the competition out of boredom or so he says. and so he managed to asked a girl who is 9 years older than him for a date through the radio DJ for a date at the regency hotel. man. he should had asked me lor. i would've said yes for sure. too bad the dinner at the Regent hotel doesnt come with a room. man... i would definitely make use of the facilities if it did.
okay okay... back to the playoffs. its times like these that i wish i had a tv. sigh. hope Boston kicks the Bull's ass.

but beautiful...

just return from visiting my little godson. i got SH a book- the giving tree, as a belated present. simple yet beautifully crafted story. but its uncomparable to what he has received. every other gift i find is just insignificant. plus the gift i got for the baby boy is way more cooler- a stroller. i spent the whole day afternoon at vivo trying to crack my brain in getting him a nice gift. ofcoz i can definitely say that my gift was far better then what i received for my birthday last year from him... a box of hankerchiefs. haha. ofcoz then i realise that it is a very popular book in korea apparently. he was given one when he was young and hari had 2 copies of the book. one in korean and the other english. darn. okay so then its for SunHo then.

it was my first time holding a baby. and i am not very good at it. too fragile for me. the whole time i was just worried i would accidently snap his neck. i think Hari felt the same way as well.

well observing how the newly made parents handle themselves is so amazing. goodness me. the environment in the house has changed. hari seems so flabergasted and distracted. she cant leave the baby anywhere out of her sight. i could just see the mother instinct in her eyes and behavior when we are around the baby.
then i was forced to watch how the baby was being bathed. SH insists that i observe for my future benefit. man... its a very tiring task. the preparation work is so exhaustive and everything had to be done within 10 minutes or the baby would freeze to death. i didnt want to see the whole process and wanted to sneak over to do the dishes. but i was not allowed and must watch the whole ten minutes of the process. then i decided to be a bit more useful and video recorded the whole event. haha. seeing parents working as a team just to please that little boy. so precious. Hari was telling me how much her life has changed just by a matter of seconds. she began to understand why mothers see how beautiful her child is and she honestly thinks that he is the most handsomest boy in the whole world. i just thought to myself of how tiny he was and he would grow up to be a very hairy boy. haha. then i asked SH if this feeling is equivalent to having a new imac. haha. the answer was that it is no where near that feeling but whole new level.

we also took the opportunity to celebrate black day for me, which was supposed to be on April 14. the day SunHo was born. haha. he's a black day baby. i was served korean black Ja Jiang Meon as a symbol of my singlehood. tasty nonetheless.

sigh. okay... remind myself. PAY THE BILLS!!

shaggy doodle...

i was given the day off for our hard work till 5am this morning. i am so shag right now. was intending to go shopping for birthday present and to seriously look into getting that imac and to get a new portable hard-disk for motives i shall not say. hehe.

In the end i ended up spending the day at home. however, for few hours i had to hang out at the nearby coffee shop because they were fogging all the refuse chutes. so i spent 2 hours stoning at the coffee shop dreaming and watching the traffic controller managing the traffic as there were some road works going on. i realise that it isnt a very easy job to do. and it looks like a rather boring yet tiring task. but someone has to to do it.

anyway, when i got home the place was all smoky and filled with kacats. so i had to sweep the little stupid cockcroaches that managed to escape out the chute.
oh i hate them cockcroaches. they are evil and dirty and evil. why on earth did he created them? disgusting. so just to be sure, i gave them a super duper wiff of shieldtox just to be safe and to make sure that they are totally killed. disgusting. little devils. yuck. disgusting. stupid creatures. they seriously suck man. horrible creatures. lousy insects. a shame of the insect world. dirty dirty little critters.

ooooookay. i think i better go shower and head out now. its FRIDAY NIGHT!