bottles of champagne...

"6 months isn't so long... everybody gets corrupted."

- tracy from Manhattan (1979)

its been almost a week at the little island. so much has been going through my mine that even i had not anticipated. it is true that life is about making choices, but seriously when there are choices which determines your life, it aint that easy as someone thinks. every decision becomes so difficult. i would give you the breakdown on what the decisions are thus far but i can honestly tell you that its still very much very sketchy. the hardest part is trying to make everyone think that its a-okay, everything is under control. but although it has not reached to a state of tearing my hair off it is still difficult indeed. but the underlying problem is me, what the hell do i want and where do i want to be at this present moment, although home is something that is never to late, but the underlying question is-when? putting thingsinto perspective isnt so easy as there is so much emotion involve when deciding, and it is necessary because the heart does matter when one decides. i know many of you readers are thinking... "just fucking decide already, but i can only retaliate with a Fuck you and go kay poh someone else life". haha. you notice the last bit of "haha" is just a pretext of relieving the tension of the said words before.

now what are the options you ask? well its between getting a little more of a taste of near perfection before going back to the realm of dissapointment, corruption and having to work 10 times harder to get things right. you think joannechew's husband would be a glimmer of hope of the state of a place? i doubt so... he's a fucking idiot just like any other young punk over there. oh forgive me for being so crude and offensive in my remarks, but when a man is in distress and in a state of deep thought. things can get pretty out of control in terms of verbal description. but seriously i hope i am wrong.

so its about getting my priorities straight. to understand the human context of things. things that can't be changed over night and with out rational reasons. contractors cant just suddenly be able to do things beyond there ability and clients who cant just decide that they are willing to pay for something that is beyond their understanding. no its impossible. it requirespatience and a tactful thought, because really, everyone else is fucking stupid except you.

i am a very upset man. upset on things that you cant change overnight and things that you can't control. so anyway, i have been going for a few interviews lately. thus far all of them have offered me a job, except perhaps in terms of salary it can be quite hard to swallow. but i guess its better to sell yourself high first rather than going low and ending up with shit. (unfinished)

so anyway, the song Manhattan has been running though my head endlessly. its a very architecture song i should say. CONTEXT! people... CONTEXT!

books i've been preoccupied with thus far...

Echo of Space/ Space of Echo - Atelier Bow-Wow

Studies- The office of Ryue Nishizawa

Constructing Architecture:materials/ processes/ structures, a Handbook- Andrea Deplazes (Ed.)

Atmosphere- Peter Zumthor