thank god its friday...

finally managed to finish and sent out my minutes and i'm ready for bed. it was a painful process having to work on my aging laptop. everything is a minute slow and the program keeps shutting itself down. sigh. yet again even more reasons why i should upgrade my mac. should i wait a little longer or just go for the kill? these days i rarely use my computer to work. but given the current new circumstances i might have to. word documents are but minor problems that i can endure using my laptop. but its the 3d modeling and photoshopping etc that would be a nightmare.

was pulled in to help out on the labrador competition at the very last minute. as usual the bosses have no sense of time management and neglected the work until the very last minute. in the end the rest of us have to suffer. i seriously do not like working pass 12am these days. having worked till 3am the night before definitely does not make going through the next day very pleasant. surprisingly theres jsut so much work to be done. i almost forgot that the world is in a global recession. its good that we are still busy. but at the same time unfair for us being constantly threaten to work hard because the bosses never ceased to stop reminding us of our dispensable state. talk about being appreciated.

now that thats over, the next 3 weeks i'm pulled in for another competition. apparently i'm the diagram expert. i am pretty anal about diagrams. i dont mind doing the work when theres a clear direction and the boss makes quick and concise decisions. having 2 years of working on competitions, we've learn how to manage the boss, unfortunately he has not learn how to handle the pressure and situations.

today on the way home. my colleague and i had a discussion about the office and our plans for the next phase in our career. both agreed that we eventually want to set out and do our own thing. we hate having to take orders from people and its definitely something we would not want to spend the rest of lifes in. when i say "thing" it can mean many different things. but of course the main "thing" specifically during the conversation was about starting our own practice. we both agreed that we shouldnt stay in this current office too long. even though the experience and exposure working in this office is exponential (2 years of working in the office is apparently 4 years working elsewhere), after a while will feel stagnant in our careers and become complacent in our architectural drive. given that the office has a very draconian boss we are forced to rely on them wholly. i am worried that might not have sufficient tools and capabilities to sell myself elsewhere. but he said that we would never know our full potential until we leave our current office given the very nature that the bosses have a way of making us feel very small and incompetent without them.

i am beginning to feel rather jaded in the company. not because of the work but of the bosses BS ethics and way of running the office. we have to admit the management is not super fantastic. i realise that most of us are just waiting to be sacked or retrench. because that would speed up the whole resignation process. a normal resignation would require a months notice in advance and normally the final month at the office is not very pleasant. the bosses tend to get personal and hateful towards those who are resigning. plus we have to go through the painful handover process. the more i think about it the more irritated i feel.

the reason i'm still here apart from the stupid recession is the current work im handling. i hope to finish up both of my tender documentation. that would really bulk up my already relatively impressive portfolio.

sigh... so we're just waiting on the world to change. unfortunately not to the way we hope it would be.

merry christmas mr lawrence...

finally i'm hooked in and ready to go. plenty of internet glitches on the first day unfortunately. such a nuisance. i totally forgot how to use my laptop. having internet at home is rather strange to me.

i manage to get hold of the complete dischography of Ryuichi Sakamoto's music. such a great master. must lispect ol grit masta. arigato. sayonara. suzuki. toyota. hait! i have much to learn-doh.

cold noodles at SaeHoon's new place last night. delicious-doh. so honored to have him whip up his best dish for the guest of honor. arigato. and hari's belly is humongous! can't believe they are soon to be parents in just a matter of weeks. scary. i hope i can be at the hospital to see the action. i can volunter to be the designated camera man. even though my skills are lousy. just hope he's not OT-ing when the baby decides to pop out.
Hari was showing me her little baby journal. she actually made a chronology of the whole 9 months. she even drew little sketches of her soon to be baby in section and a picture of her stomach being kicked by the baby. I think sae hoon is just plain worried from now onwards. such a scary thought. soon enough they will not be able to hang out with me much anymore. sigh.
Then she showed me photos of their italy holiday. well it was her visit to italy while he was studying. after the whole trip. Saehoon made a little photo book album. they are so in love. i especially like the ending photos at the airport as her trip was coming to an end. their eyes were sore red. tragic.

had lunch with my former landscape arch for duchess today. i have not seen her since she left her previous firm. atleast she looks less grumpy as compared to back then. haha. we're planning a trip to HK. guess i wont be seeing me sister in May if it materialises. tsk tsk. sorry sis. just so you know atleast you was on my mind as one of the getaway plan.

after last night. i have decided that i will marry the girl who plays 'merry christmas mr lawrence' on the piano. beautiful song.

its close to 1am. pass my bedtime.

thinking...

its a rainy saturday afternoon. the morning was pleasant despite i was struggling to open my tired eyes from last nights kay's farewell outing. its so sad to see her go. i will miss her phone calls with her cantankerous contractor.

after dropping by at work in the afternoon. i decided to pay the national museum a visit. my first trip for the year. the Christian Lacroix exhibit was on displaying his stage costume designs. the place was flooded with young girls armed with their cameras taking every sketch and dress piece. they must be young fashion designer students. just take photo and copy the style first.

sigh. after the going through the exhibit i heaved a deep sigh of despair, yearn, and anxiety. i want try out stage set designing. i am still very disturbed by the set design for the nutcracker ballet. yuk.

oh well, perhaps as soon as i complete my next set of tender documents will things start to open up. haha.

lunch at SH's new place tomorrow. hopefully his wife's swollen eye would be healed by then. korean cold noodles.

i wonder if they would make a movie out of Kafka on the shore. not jap anime style please.

i have this sudden love for radiohead and beyonce's - i am sasha...

i'm on MC...

its a rainy monday. im officially zonked out and fatigued to the bones. hence a monday off would hopefully rejuvenate things.

it was rather strange seeing ChingLing taking the plunged into the world of marriage life. but besides seeing her giving herself to some stranger, the 7 year hiatus reunion was good. its amazing how after 7 years none of us really changed. so when will we see each other again? probably the next wedding. i'm guessing it'll be an annual thing? i dunno. everyones getting older.

sitting on the other side of the fence...

home office... and beer bellies.

so much paper work to do!! i seriously have to consider internet service at home... sigh.

gives you hell...

finally after 3 grueling weeks of late nights and constant stress. the documents are finally packed and sent to its rightful destination. a big sigh of relieve indeed. siiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggghhhhhhhhh!

and as a small reward... i got friday off! yea you do the math... 3 weeks of hard work is equivalent to 1 day off. cheap labor!
nevertheless, so the best way to start the day off was to sleep in. sleeping in has become a very rare occasion from my previous life as a student now that my morning weekends are taken up by various activities as well.
i guess when you start working, you begin to appreciate every free time you get and you want to spend more time during the day under the beaming sunlight rather than the dark quiet lonely nights. breakfast times are a blessing. seize the day people!

ofcourse this does not mean that the busy times are over just yet. infact that was just a crash course burn out stress thingy or what my bosses consider it as an ECA (extra curricular activity). i must not deny, it was quite an exciting and brain stimulating period.
but now its back to the slow killing stress of the everyday worklife. and i better show my interest in my work. a dear colleague of mine jsut got fired just because she applied leave for the CNY holiday. ofcourse theres more to the story, but after working for the office for 3 years you would think she'd be appreciated and not be rid with just by a snap of the finger. it's a cruel cruel world. its a big blow to the office losing her, she was good at her job and one of the best project architect handling one of the toughest job... mad dog contractor and a neh neh client- capita"fucking"land. fuck you capitaland ceo! nowonder your so rich its because your just damn stingy and your subordinates are just a pain in the ass! think gollum.
well, it serves them right i guess for making such an irrational decision to terminate her contract. cant believe they still wanted her to come back to do a proper handover of the project. no way i would come back after that... fuck you! i would say.
dad always say we have to be nice to everyone and neer make enemies, because you never know what might become of in the future. but i still think we shouldnt let ourselves be so low and be nice to every fucking idiot just because. good advice but not applicable to every situation. life is much bigger than that.
and so... fuckthememployerswithnospinewhodoesnotwanttotakeresponsibilityfortheiractions!
its really a damn fucked up world. and we're all tied to a string because of these bad times. fuck you wallstreet!

you can tell that even after my long rest, i'm still very grumpy. and i just remembered! i have not booked my tickets for the putri gunung ledang musical! sigh.

just saw photos from erik's wedding. pity i wasnt able to make it. his wife actually looks like claudia teh abit.

anyway, i better go run my errands. dinner at aston's tonite! its time to reward myself with a big fat cheap juicy steak!

my weekend read...

the first no CNY... in 26 years

i was so much grumpier and angrier around noon time. but after time things started to cool down and i began to rethink rationally on my thoughts. at the end of the day, it was my choice to stay and see through this competition. i guess naturally i immediately took control of the team the day i was inserted into the team. this impulse is partly due to the fact that i want to avoid being screwed by the boss if all fails and the fact that eveyone else is just plain useless and stupid like fucking idiots. no one has that compelling passion and urge to get this done well. sigh. after so long still nothing much has been done. you would expect that by the last 2 weeks we would be focusing on the presentations et all. instead i came in with nothing actually done complete nor well. everything was a mess no detail design was done which was the important task after all the brainstorming bullshit. everyone was so concern of the other doing less or "easier work" than them. and it was a slight sensitive task when i start to assign task. after revising 3 competition schedules, we're still behind time. i do not want to stay back and skip CNY in vain. the only other member that is doing his job is the main designer - SH. very stressful he is. and his wife is in the verge of falling into depression. she hardly sees him or has his full attention. and she's pregnant and due in 2 months. wow, more of these stress i fear he might just kill himself or explode. i do not want to be there when that happens.

well, thats one competition soon to end and another one waiting at the finishing line. it never ends.

i believe most family reunion dinners should have finish by now. right now everyones probably hanging around grandmas house making small talk while watching the grandkids and lil cousins run around the house while all the wifes are behind cleaning up and catching up on each others life.

the week has not been as bad as i imagined. met up with A-Gan for dinner on saturday. i discovered that he's attached?! wow. and later a friend of mine hooked me up with his girlfriend's BFF for a double date to catch a late chic flick show. it was a relatively amusing show. but i would not pay to see it in the cinema. but i think the purpose was more of meeting the person than the movie. being alone in the office on a sunday evening is quite pleasant. but it is getting late. and i need to eat.

oh! i downloaded the complete discography of FOB, SnowPatrol, Aqualung, BenFolds, ChrisBotti, AAR, and Enya's latest album, and and the OST of Laputa! booyah! its the little office abusing that gets you through the day. hehe. koreans are so illegal and resourceful.

last night... when we were young

back at the asylum for the holidays. its always great to be back. however, every passing year that goes by the more i feel a sense of distance from the place. i begin to realise my being and presence in this house fading through the years. the scent that airs my room does so vaguely exists. the only assurance of that being my room is the left behind possessions and the photos displayed around the house. i am not saying that i do not feel at home at every passing year. instead its this sense of change in my life that progresses on, and this house which is a container of the past and the gap between my present feels gradually increasing.

nevertheless holidays are good. initially i thought i'd be able to catch up on some work during the break. but on my way to the airport i realised that i had left the CD with all my supposed holiday work at the apartment. ofcourse i can always ask my colleagues to attached over the files to me. the moment when i first turn on the home computer i was bombarded with dad's movie collection of more than 50 files in the the hard drive. instinctively, i thought to myself, "how am i ever gonna finish all of these shows within this short span of a holiday?". And so instead i have been spending my holidays alternating between watching movies (i've completed 8 so far), reading (i am in near completion of Italo Calvino's if on a winter's night a traveler), astro-ing (mostly MTV and the asianfoodchannel), playing with the bratty TOTO, and the occasional eating/ snacking(mom's minced meat pie... heavenly gastronomia). i have not eaten so much in a day for a long time. mom thinks the reason that i'm constantly in need to snack is because im on holiday mood, and people tend to lose appetitie when we're working. well that may be true, but i have another theory which is the mind of the matter. mentally i know that i have no food in my Sg apartment therefore i never had any cravings. but being home here in KK i know theres food everywhere. so my brain tells me to go search for food and go nuts about it. thank goodness i'm only here for a short period of time.

i received a phone call from cvk today. he was utterly furious that i did not inform him of my returned and he had to discover this from another friend. i was hermitting. in fact he asked me what on earth can i do here in KK. so i told him exactly that thats the reason why i did not bother calling anyone. because there's just nothing to do here but stay at home and hibernate. apparently it wasnt a very good excuse for not notifying him of my presence.

having returned to kk. i have managed to fulfil my few agendas i had set out doing or more of eating perhaps. most of it was achieved within 3 days from the day of my return with the exception of last night's dumplings at ChuanHing (still the best ever, like... totally yea) and we tried a China brewed beer - Tsingtao. dad was very game about trying new stuff and he was very thristy. paul was just denying how much he "doesn't" consume so much alcohol in his life. whilst drinking this new found beer, we also discovered that the beer has been around long before tiger beer has, and in addition, the brand was created the year after the last emperor of China- Puyi was born. amazing stuff. so this is encouragement to all Astro lovers. tv is good for you. however, i do wish to pay Peppino a visit again if possible as well as to sit at the deck along the waterfront for beers while overlooking the sunset. you know, i would had been there at this very instant if only i had a means of transport. amazingly the one and only car left that i am capable of driving is in the workshop. unfortunately not able to do banking today as well. perhaps tomorrow after dental.

yes people, 2008 is coming to an end and i am very sad because my bonus has been so called "differed". sigh. instead of ending the year with a big bang! i'm left instead with a big bummer. sigh again. and i think the show how i met you're mother is very funny.

christmas prezzies...

from my thoughtful colleagues... how nice of them. i think the actual one i have is much nicer than this. and its sitting right on my desk when i return to Singapore. sigh. touched.

never let me go...

perhaps i should write before i leave the office. i have exactly 1 week before the office closure. apart from being excited, its also very worrying and stressful because i have to clear as much paperwork as i can before the year ends. sigh. well, sometimes these recessions are a blessing in disguise.

ofcourse apart from being the happiest time of the year. it is also the most depressing of times. year ends is the time when i tend to use my thoughts the most of irrelevant things. its when i do my reflection of what has happened thus far. of course last year was not as painful because it was a busy time at the office. its when all sorts of things just runs through my head. all the sighs, the goodbyes, the what if, the what's next, the how, etc. and you try to collate all of them together and try to make sense out of it but eventually you realised that all was meaningless thoughts that could had been put to more use to figuring out how to detail my car porch design. yet at the same time these thoughts are unavoidable.

oh shit! i should stop writing. its making things worst! its only a phase sam... its the monsoon weather.

when you wish upon a star...

surprise surprise... guess what i got for my birthday...

seriously, ask and you shall receive. muahaha! this is one of the greatest birthday gift ever. thanks to all who contributed. unfortunately none of them will be able to read this.

the birthday week has ended. i for one am not a big fan in celebrating birthdays. but the people here do think its an important day and all would make plans. well i could elaborate on the events, but im just too darn lazy to do so.

all i wanted was to post up and flaunt my new birthday gift! and so i did!

p.s. to mom+dad. thanks for the e-card. sadly none of my siblings wished me.
i know im just pushing my luck... but here goes... tsk tsk

i've got my... to keep me warm

it is the last long weekend for the year and i managed to spent it with much glee. i'm feeling slightly guilty that i didn't spent more time on work. the only work time i had was doing my minutes this morning. mom's 7.30am phone call brought me to life. we're having BEEF WELLINGTON for christmas! yay! right mom?
i actually woke up at 5.45am but went back to bed because i figured that its a holiday and i deserve the extra hour in bed. but i with further thought, i decided that i shouldnt lay around in bed all morning instead i should do useful things such as my minutes and laundry and cleaning the toilet and clearing my messy table. the weather in the morning was very pleasant. it was raining!

i think my trip to the marine barrage this evening is canceled due to the "splendid" weather. should i stay at home?

polkadots and moonbeams...

this weekend is SAM day!! i guess being on MC has its perks. you get to catch up on things. and with the whole day away from the office. i've been spending quality time on the internet sourcing out the latest exhibition. i have not visited the arts museum since Giacometti. but i think i've seen more of his works when i was in Swiss than what was exhibited.
the current exhibits...

Japan Media Arts Festival 2008: Growing together

is it tomorrow yet? - Highlights from the Daimler Arts Collection (1908-2008)

Korean Contemporary Art Show

Heartlands: Home and Nation in the Art of Ong Kim Seng

i might have to spread the visits to 2 days. 2 exhibits per day.

and my year end leave application has been APPROVED!! wow... being sick really is good.

-

since im in the christmas mood as well... i might as well reveal to you all my christmas wish list!

hint hint...

wrap your troubles in dreams...

dilemma... dilemma...

satisfaction...

new shoes! new shoes!
the singapore government says we should not stop spending to avoid a recession. so... i obey lor.

taking the risk... or live not knowing

not working in the weekend basically means i have to work extra extra hard over the week. so much backlog to clear and it does not help when i have these extra unnecessary letters i have to type all thanks to my big screw up. sigh. how on earth could i had made such a mistake. but back tracking when it was done. i realised that it was during the worst of my work life when i was practically stranded at the office with super late nights. this in turn affected my performance greatly. hence thats probably how i managed to screw up on such a simple yet important task. money is always a sensitive subject. i appreciate my PM being a very considerate fella. he always have my back covered. of course i feel much worst that way whenever i screw up. sigh. i guess God is fair... give us a super lousy contractor he balances it with a considerate PM from the client. i hate typing minutes! so many meetings so little time. i have no idea how my boss expects me to make 3d design studies when i'm stuck with all these paper works. maybe if i had not blogged i could had finished one level of the model. sigh. no use crying over used time.
its almost 12 anyway, and my brain is dead. not to mentioned i have an early morning meeting.

nonetheless the weekend was indeed fruitful. fruitful in way i did nothing that had to do with work. tennis on saturday morning is indeed a big sacrifice from me sleeping in. i never sleep in these days, since even my weekend morning are packed with activities. then in the afternoon it was AVENUE Q!! hilarious indeed. and i really got everyone good seats. they should bow down and thank me of my brilliance! btw, anyone up for ballet in December? its a 3 hour performance which is pretty long. but its the nutcracker! Tchaikovsky rules.
Sunday was as usual... church. i have been pretty consistent with my church going im sure i've gained many treasures in heaven? or at least God has signed me up with an account up there. i think previously my account was frozen. then lunch with SaeHoon+Wife was nice. i've never had lunch with the 2 of them on weekends when he's less distracted. they are a funny and lovely couple.and the baby is due in 4-5 months time which i do not want to imagine the whole procedure would be after my friend was explaining to me about childbirth. i never ever would want my wife to give birth... its just gross and painful. african kids are quite cute. anyway, i wonder if they will call the little boy "little Kimchi". that would be very Korean indeed. after lunch we went to visit the national museum for the photography exhibition by some taiwan/american photographer. very intense and sad photos. after the exhibition we were all so tired mentally and our eyes were dead sore staring at all those photos.

man i better go. me need to sleep.

distress...

just love the long weekend. did not return to the office at all. Yesterday after church went to collect my ticket for thursday's show. i decided to catch a movie as well - Tropic Thunder. I might as well use the free movie voucher ticket before it expires. the movie was funny but i felt it did not go all out to punning Hollywood and their low self esteem actors. but it was good entertainment, and Robert Downey Jr is seriously funny as a black man wanna-be.

When i came home. High School musical 2 was on TV. i am not a big fan of the movie franchise. but the songs can be quite catchy. and the guys eyes are so endearing. ooops. not gay just an observation. One thing's for sure, they all can really sing, unlike the girl who sang at the Porsche Kitchen launch.

of course despite the pleasant long weekend. there were some minor disturbances. someone should write a book on "How to stop a 30 year old women from bugging you". over the past weekend i have been receiving endless text messages. perhaps i should have turn down the lunch offer on saturday. but the agenda i was told was to buy a gift for one of our friends. it turned out the gift shopping wasnt really the main event. i don't know what was. after running around trying to figure out what to buy, she just said that we still have time to get the gift... his birthday is not in another month's time. in my head i was thinking... then why are we buying it now? okay, that was my fault. i should have remembered his birthday.
one good advice i can give is never ever go out for lunch with your drinking buddies. just look at Anton and his previous females... disastrous. after saturday's lunch. the messages kept stringing along. each sms was such a pain to reply. i had to be extra careful in crafting my replies. making sure i'm not flirting in any way. but i kep getting random messages from 12 in the afternoon till 12 midnight. and several outing suggestions, which i am avoiding. not that im not against 30 year olds. but you must know most drinking buddies have nothing much in common and 30 year olds are dangerous because they are in the "marriage" zone. i am still much too immature to dabble in such things.
i received a message at 11pm last night asking why i did not "jio" her to the show. thank goodness girls are never straight forward people and they have an ego they have to maintain to never express their interest until the male does the initial say. so as long as i keep me distance... theres only so much a girl can do. damn... i just received another movie invitation. thank goodness for Tropic Thunder! you saved my life!!

Afterglow...

i played my first tennis game in Singapore today. it has been close to 2 years since i last played and i sucked terribly that i should now make it my regular weekly agenda. my fitness regime has finally spun off! now i can do anything!

was invited to attend the launch of Porsche's new kitchen design series on Friday. The event was much well received then the office's exhibition launch. the hired Andrea de Cruz as the Emcee and Roxy the girl (i don't know her real name) from Kids Central show REM. okay how i know she's from kidscentral? i flick to the channel once a while. but seriously, she is really hot. unfortunately i cant say the same for her singing. she can't sing for nuts. i guess looking good really helps when you're toned deaf. my friend tried to get her number after the event, and she just blew him off saying she's busy working. whats a phone number got to do with being busy? then again, she;s just a kid. oh yes! the kitchen! during the unveiling of the kitchen, they had the Roxy girl sitting on the kitchen island singing some awful song, but i just kept looking anyway. then my director was asking if i was marveling at the kitchen or the girl. my reply was ofcourse - the girl. okay, about the kitchen... Yes there was a kitchen. it was indeed a very slick kitchen, but a little too slick for my liking. the only fun part playing with the kitchen was it was a touch and feel system. just one soft touch and the drawers and cupboards pop up with such smooth elegance. cruise control baby and a totally handle-free kitchen. so i went and started pressing and opening all the drawers and cupboards. i was seriously intrigued with the system. my director jsut shook his head with embarrassment. then after i had enough of opening all the cupboards, i told my director that the kitchen does not come with a hob. his eyes sprung open with shocked! indicating my hand was leaning against the hob. he walked off and told not to go around identifying myself from the office. sad indeed. even the the pop-up waste was electronically controlled. but my conclusion was its just a nice kitchen for display. i still think Bulthaup kitchens are much more functional. oh and the kitchen system cost around 300k. thats more than the Porsche automobile that was parked outside at the entrance. but really the whole purpose of attending such event is not about the girls nor the kitchen. its the free flow of drinks and food!! they had a running kitchen with 2 celebrity chefs cooking and serving us non stop and a cocktail bar. i was told that Kitchen Culture holds cooking lessons at the showroom. but its $200 per lesson. and on top of that, you can't qualify to attend such events unless you've bought one of their Poggen Pohl kitchens. i'm sure Jamie Oliver will not approve of such things. cooking is for everyone. rich or poor.

went keyboard scouting in the afternoon. i realised that keyboards are rather expensive! how am i to start my lessons if i cant practice. i'll have to make some sacrifices i guess. and just to think, i just bought tickets for "blonde bombshells of 1943". sigh.

warrior essentials...

one of my favorite columns featured in Fortune magazine is the 'road warriors' segment. the column features a list of travel essentials of a business/ journalist celebrity. so i decided to do a quick one of my own just for the fun of it before i head for dinner. but its not a travel essentials list as my current job and position does not require me to do much of it. instead just some of my must HAVEs and DOs.

1. style cue? my non-working clothes usually consists of: running shoes, flip-flops, t-shirts, track pants, sun glasses. i go for the extreme comfort.

2. tech savvy? apple has a very special place in my heart.


3. dream vacation? my next destination -> Rome. but ultimately, i reckon the best vacation has to be KK doing absolutely nothing with a pint of beer.



4. post-stressed meal? fine dining is indeed my vice. Prego's would be my choice. the tiramisu is to die for and the place opens way beyond midnight. a good choice for a hungry architect late at night. its a good thing these stressful nights does not come by so very often, most of the time i'm just flat out.



5. and to wash it down? Botrytis Semillon especially from Noble One. ever since JM bought me my first bottle, I have continued to love it thus far. i am quite the sweet tooth.


6. watch? i never really bothered much about watches. an excuse was that i refused to be bounded by curfews and i just couldn't decide on any of the choices. This unfortuantely resulted in poor punctuality. During my swiss trip, i decided to get myself a souvenir and ofcourse the best choice would be to get a swiss made watch. now i have it wrapped around my wrist close to 24/7.



7. Hangout? No.5 @ emerald hill is the place. Vodkas and Martinis on a Friday night makes the week less painful.