sukiyaki...

screwdrivers are the best after a tiring and terrible day. terrible or the degree of it however varies from day to day and the situation. but on fridays... its a good way to end the week despite how tired you are.

now that the ceiling grid is up and ready to install the plaster boards. the boss decides he's not happy with it and wants to change it. i agree perhaps i did not put great effort in figuring out the alignment and had put much needed deep thought into the ceiling rational. but sometimes when you think abt it... who gives a fucking damn? in the end it is not my office, and i guess the one who pays and have to bear all the scrutinization would have to be the boss. this is a chance to showcase the office capability which perhaps i am not up to the task. fuck its never to the standard... especially when standard changes from day to day or mood to mood. as i've said.. there is no right or wrong in design. scrutinization is all a perception. someone might say its bad... but another might differ. so it all depends on who's praises you're in favor of.

i really dont know how to tell the contractor that we need to remove the ceilings and already installed aircond. i wish all this would be over sooner. its another addtional 2 weeks before its all done. i hope theres no further comments and all is locked in. to hell with uncertainty and fickle minded faggots who cant be decisive yet do not want to take the responsibility.

and so he says... " you sure these dimensions are correct ah. you better be sure my files can be slotted in. make sure all the ergonomics are correct. dun follow the old standard of proportions..." and i replied... "fuck you... do it yourself you dumbshit and give me more money." haha! yes i know all you other fuckers life is much tougher and harder than mine. shittier hours and worse bosses than mine. boo hoo!

and now mom dad will start blabbing about how i shouldnt be negative about this. and have abit of PR skill. learn to tolerate and just do the work. its a simple task. do as you're told... bla di bla.

sometimes i do not know why the fuck i write these sort of things. people read these stuff and make their call of fucking judgements and ideas. its just a fucking update of my life. so just chill.

all the stress and having to stand in a dusty room doing standing supervision has given me pimples.

AMILCARE CARRUGA was still young, not lacking resources, without exaggerated material or spiritual ambitions: nothing, therefore, prevented him from enjoying life. And yet he came to realize that for a while now this life, for him, had imperceptibly been losing its savor. Trifles, like, for example, looking at women in the street: there had been a time when he would cast his eyes on them greedily; now perhaps he would instinctively start to look at them, but it would immediately seem to him that they were speeding past like a wind, stirring no sensation, so he would lower his eyelids, indifferent. Once new cities had excited him--he traveled often, since he was a merchant--but now he felt only irritation, confusion, loss of bearings. Before, since he lived alone, he used to go to the movies every evening; he enjoyed himself, no matter what the picture was. Anyone who goes all the time sees, as it were, one huge film, in endless installments: he knows all the actors, even the character players and the walk-ons, and this recognition of them every time is amusing in itself. Well: now even at the movies, all those faces seemed to have become colorless to him, flat, anonymous; he was bored.
- italo calvino

anyway... Happy National Day to the Swiss! go federer... WOOT!

back in the land of... hot pants

just finished showering from night tennis. i immediately went straight to the courts reaching home from the airport. no time to lose man... haha must meet my minimum twice a day tennis for the week. i managed to hit some balls over at KL. although i must say that the so called "synthetic" grass court was horribly maintained. they should just make it hard court.

gastronomical extravaganza at KL. great seeing the guys again. i must say it was a slightly more organized and planned trip up as compared to my previous trips. yes, thankfully it was not all about YUMCHA. but we've decided on the next escapade... BAK KUT TEH @ klang! yumz.
let me list out the foods eaten in an orderly fashion...
palate palette / spare ribs prawn mee / yong tiu fu / coffee @ le passione / hoegarden with roast pork etc / sinful chocolate cakes from some supposedly famous gal couple baker who makes cakes for the Agung / cafe cafe... fettucine with white truffle sauce, wagyu beef cheeks with red wine sauce, duck breast with foie gras, wild rocket salad, lamb shank with... cant remember / lots of wine / fish head noodle / hoegarden / kajang satay

while i wait for my dinner to arrive and laundry to finish. i figured i better start organizing my music and movies. haha. despite having 1 tetra byte of hard disk space i'm still being very nene about using it.

was chatting with momzy and popzy. apart from planning the family get together which in the end had not made any conclusion. i decided to throw them ideas about me heading back kk. its a real tough decision. simply because its a place i fear i will rot. and its not the easiest and best location if i we're to go for my registration. and i fear of being stuck in the life of YUMCHA-ing. OMG i will die out of boredom.

but i think it be quite fun if i can do up the place at kim leng. do some serious renovation work. i'm thinking of turning one of the rooms into a sound proof music studio. hehe. NBT has given additional ideas on that. and i'll knock off the walls to make a bigger open kitchen concept at the back. i'll plant nice bushida trees facing the living area and wall up the whol place from the outside. wow i can already imagine the whole image in my head. feel the rawness of the space.

okay i'm seriously hungry now.

walking on broken glass...

skipped church today to hit some balls at the court. lately i have been browsing around for more tennis courts which are easily accessible from my place and sourcing for available tennis clubs. i realised that i have been skipping all my religious activities of late. so tuesday's bible class i must attend.
but getting up early to stroke some balls is rather therapeutic. i have not played so hard until i've formed blisters on my thumb.

then picnic at fort canning park was ... hot. i love picnics. and this was my first picnic in singapore. i must give credit to the N-parks for providing and maintaining all these lovely parks. but sadly the government can't control the weather. relative humidity... if only there was a gush of wind blowing. that would had made a whole lot of difference.
but i seized the event to open up the punt road dessert wine. woot! finally a rightful occasion before it turns bad.

picnic at the park... with an accordion.

the week went by so quickly. so disappointed that tennis was canceled today. i really must further expand my tennis circle to atleast have 3 circle of tennis groups. then i can rotate myself among the groups. further more, the weather was so fine today.
nevertheless i took advantage of the day my sleeping in. i am actually a very tired boy. put me near the bed and i will just doze off. i need to make friends with tennis fanatics... then i would be able to play at every other day.

skipped bible class this week to catch a movie - paris j'taime. its a series of short films by different directors but all of a common theme - love. very frenchy indeed. it covers on all different languages and types of love not to mentioned different sort of species. its the sort of movie that wants to make u feel all lovey dovey after. i can't wait for the next film to be release - new york, i love you.

okay... off to see the little boy.

guess i'll hang my sweat out to dry...

decided to go back into competitive tennis again. the last time i played tennis competitively was back in Uni. this time around i've signed up for a couple of singles tournaments during the upcoming months.
i decided to sign up for it was because i realised that i am not getting any younger. and i know i will definitely regret my not playing as much competitive matches when i get older. knowing had the opportunity to do so.i will go through the 2 quarter of my life feeling regretful and remorseful of my poor decisions in life.
so i figured i shall not waste any further time. my other agendas of piano lessons etc does not require much of physical strengths and so i still have time. but sporting activities on the other hand has its limit.
the other compeling motivaitonal reason i decided to pursue this with little hesitation was of my newly purchased K6.1 racquet. woot! awesomeness! i figured (and with the help of sis' gut intuition) that no point i wait till i hit 30 plus before i get such a good racquet to play. it would be a great waste of such a good racquet being put to use during my failing physical prime.
and thus lately, i have been stocking up my sporting gear of late and planning my training sessions. so fun! full on man! haha
occupied with my exercising regime... have to cut down on my alcohol consumption. alot of stamina needs to be built. sigh. so unfit.
still a little while more before i hang the racquet from competitive playing... kononnya... spoken like a true pro... jeh.

sam needs a federer racquet...

here's the little Michelin Man!! haha...

a flower is not... a flower

the mid week has passed. i've learned how to make wiser decisions. never ever go mambo-ing on a wednesday night when you know you aren't able to take MC the next day because you have scheduled meetings/ appointments you can't escape from. sigh. i should had stopped and headed home after emerald hill. worst is you can't sleep it off because the minutes and all the extra yet necessary paper work has to be done. well perhaps i say this now that i have truly learned my lesson, but its bound to happen again with the past as my witness. i believe the term is... dejavu all over again.

on another note, i'm not sure if i should feel embarrassed with all the tender queries coming in. i think its a bad testament to the poor and lack of sufficient information. so many grey and unresolved details. i should seriously bury my head into the sand. so tedious it is because you don't want to make the same mistake twice.

i have a feeling that i am being overstretched again. but the more stress and busy i am becoming the more i wanna get away and avoid at all cause. i guess i'm feeling more crappy than usual today because of last night. most days i just take it in with fist full of salt.

i really am getting quite impatient. 30 more days before SH can come out and play. of course this means i still have 30 days to get my place all ready with proper cooking utensils and crockery. i'm currently scratching my head as to where and how we should celebrate his 100th day. something extremely outdoor... picnic!

SH is just so damn cute. i like.

i hate mondays... its that small window between sunday night and the monday morning before work. and i wish fridays would end sooner. don't we all agree?

why do i torture and inflict myself with such meaningless thoughts...

timbuktu...

sometimes life grabs you by the ass without any warning. one moment you're living forgetfully the next thing you realize how fast things turns. really you thing this is really uncalled for. and all you could just wonder and think to yourself... what the fuck?!

really sometimes you are just speechless. after all that and your still caught in the blue. what the heck did just happened??!

well... the last thing you would write about before hitting the sack.

but i must say... truth or dare is seriously very lame.

greatest regret...

today i have made one of the biggest mistake of my life. there was a talk about architecture and the community. one of the invited speakers was the national director for habitat for humanity. an organisation that i have been trying to get involve in, even if it was a half baked attempt due to my complacent nature. but anyway, it was an exciting time because finally a big guy was in our midst and a great opportunity to go straight into the source rather than having to wait in line to await the calling of duty. 

after talk i had wanted to approach the man as what i had always dreamt of doing. sadly i wish my face would had been more thick for things that really matter. immediately after the talk, my friends kept pestering me that we all should leave the place with immediate effect. one wanted to go see her dogs and the other wanted to see his wife. yes i understand their rightful obligation. so instead of pushing my way or just ignoring them i heeded to their proposition and left the place empty handed. the whole journey back i was just so irritated and agitated with myself. why oh why didn't i just do it. sigh. oh well i'll just have to continue my luck with the emails. even now i feel so pissed off about myself. idiot. i can never forgive myself for such idiosyncrasy. he was wide open and ready for me to devour. and i wasted good meat. 

sigh... oh well, atleast the talk has given me clearer ideas on my other proposition. i shall start writing my proposal to the good mother who works for the education ministry. perhaps she can help pull some strings. all for a good cause as always.

went over to Changi avenue to look at marbles in the morning. i still find the whole singapore way of dry-laying of marble ridiculous. first as you know, marble is a stone hence a natural materials. and like all other natural materials it has characters that is beyond the control of us humans. whatever that comes from the mountain is what you will get. its not like wagyu beef where the marbling of the meat can be determined and controled by the amount of  strokes and care you give the cow. unfortunately i do not think that applies in the same for mountains. but the funny thing is in singapore, people want to control everything. the grain of timber or the way it weathers... the type of character in marble patterns... and all other sorts of natural products. so because the developers in singapore have spoilt the end users with such luxury... we architects have to suffer by having to sit in the factory to sort out marbles in the way they want it to look. all this could have been avoided if they had just resorted to homogeneous tiles. these days china can do marble looking tiles. but ofcourse it just wont sell if its not a "natural" material. natural looking materials dont come close. so they want natural materials that look artificial. sigh. how stupid is that. imagine the amount of wastage. and already quarrying for stones is already an unearth friendly activity. so the government got cleverer, in order to be green, the option of natural materials will be out of the question. but i reckon since the mountains are already killed... why cant we go ahead with the marble by accepting the fate of its character. theres no harm to it... in fact it would definitely give a much more natural feel to the space. the romans have built temples out of marbles for years... and i dont think they ever bothered doing these sort of dry-lay sorting. hadrian's villa probably looked spectacular... even if the marble was all over the place. its all in the mind. now what in the world did i just type? bla bla bla... who am i to judge mother natures handiwork?!

the italians are probably giggling to themselves thinking we're a bunch of idiots... suckers!

for mom and dad...

okay... more like this...

rainy sunday afternoon...

now i can totally understand Ben's backpacking mission. well lets hope he can be as successful as Jesse in Before Sunrise. it is a magical encounter to meet someone at random. and meeting someone at these unsuspecting places and situation just makes it more sweeter. both parties find chemistry and aren't afraid to hide it because seriously theres nothing to lose and theres not a care in the world that can stop you from living that self created time. its sublime. 

a friend of mine invited me to watch her perform at a christmas party last year. it was at some mexican restaurant at Rochester park. apparently the singapore music industry is not doing her enough justice. they opt for good looks rather than talent i suppose. sadly i have to agree on that and i think she is really talented. 

stella artois...

sometimes i wonder why i spent the lonely nights working in the den. nobody seriously gives a shit on these projects and are just finding ways to avoid them. in the end... the one doing the work is the biggest loser. 

fuck lar.

so tired. 

i've yet to satisfy my tau hue at selegie road craving. i think supper is a romantic event. simply because it is a vice.

Friday is the presentation... day to call tender... and my last day to submit the waivers. shit. i'm no octopus.

as the saying goes... just pretend its okay and just take all the shit. never make enemies and be a dog to all. woof!

it's always my fault. i just can't manage my time well. i am not in the worst situation. some have endured worst. fuck you. i'm not you and i do not fucking give a damn if you're a shitty workaholic. seriously... fuck you.

Beaujolais...?

the weekend is over. sigh. jam session at southbridge had one its lamest nights. the free mic for all was turning into some karaoke session. horrible. probably the last night with ben before he heads out from the island. 

The ballet was the most amazing experience. the lady who played Anna was mesmerizing. my eyes just concentrated on her and nothing else. this was a million times better than the nutcracker. of course that would mean nutcracker pretty much sucked in comparison to anna karenina. plus they had a live orchestra. i must search for the soundtrack. i would had gone for both nights if i could. i was so hungry after the show. i think i used up all my energy just by focusing my attention and eyes towards the ballerina doing her marvelous pirouetting.

michi fujii... quite a disappointment. or perhaps it just wasnt her night. the crowd was rowdy and might had played a role in her no confidence.  or maybe she just did not lived up to my expectations. plain and simple.

the 21 year old was not as what i had anticipated of my idea of people of their age. and i have never met someone so cute in my life before. my eyes were concentrated. guess it helps when your mom works as a beautician.

note to self... i must stop dating people who live at the far corners of the island. my cab fare came up to be about 50 bucks. and i tot Sengkang was already quite a distance. 

slumber gathering at my place over the weekend. boys night in. finger nail painting... pillow fights... girl gossips and all that sort of shit. haha. fun. 

visited sunho on saturday. he is so fat and round. he's one cute little bugger. i just love pinching his cheeks. and those fat juicy legs... i can just sliced them off and fry them to eat. yummy.

saehoon and i kept gasping and holding our breath everytime the little bugger's face puckered, thinking he was gonna burst in to a loud cry. his mommy was not around leaving two guys watching him with dear life.

did not touch a single bit of work. 

the song Ballerina... is now whirling around my head. ahh...

funny...

i find this video strangely amusing. haha. i know its supposed to be a sad video. but i dunno why i was laughing so hard while watching it. HungCai would kill me if he found out that i posted this one. but its for my own record...

haha.

so exciting... ben is coming on thursday. and i've got a secret date for him installed. haha. 

michi fujii... anna karenina... monteiro + watts + brecker.

lebron james is lacking and in need of a scottie pippen to win.

stardust...

couldn't sleep. tossing and turning just thinking about a stupid door detail. its quite tricky how to work out the strike plate unto the door frame. thats the result when you act a smarty pants and decided to customize the door frame. but standard proprietary types just don't go well with my pivot system. i hope stainless steel is not an overkill. i have to figure out the door swing in relation to the interfacing of roller catch to the roller. must avoid line smudge unto the wall finish caused by the door swing. must remember to include non-directional hairline finish in my documents. very important.  

its funny how these small things can keep you up all night. the past 2 nights i have been sleeping at 4am. i think that has somewhat screwed up my biological clock system. plus the fact of all these details that have been occupying the majority of my thoughts. work pile has been escalating. jam has become more detached towards the project, leaving me with more responsibilities in running the technical aspects. and i still have to work out the 

elevations and first storey plan for crescent project. how on earth can i make the basement car park naturally ventilated yet ensure the cars are still dry from the rain?? especially when the openings has to sit right above the car parks. tight sites are the toughest to work on. especially when the original designer left no room for any flexibility and leaving the whole pile of shit for me to resolve. design review on monday and i still have nothing on my plate for that. 

it's no wonder i can't make myself sleep. so now i've decided to get out of bed and pour myself some whisky. perhaps that would help kill my brain cells for the night. i need a rocking bed to make me sleep and more whisky. thats how most architects die young.

i'll try again. i need to sleep. my body is tired. the devil IS the detail! bloody hell.

mid week...

Here are some math problems that i bet the engineers in the family cant solve. haha. Don't look at me... i'm an architect.

my project at bukit timah is becoming a full time thing. i probably can just station myself on site permanently. the contractor assumes we go down to the site everyday. and they say we hurt their feelings... i think we spoilt them. so unfair. 

lately i have been getting back into the habit of waking up early. something that i started doing towards the end of last year. well, the current motivation for my early rise is work. i think i write/ reply emails better in the morning. i realised that my emails are rather cranky/ angry/ irritated sounding when i write after hours. so perhaps with morning coffee and fresh mind. i would have a positive respond to things. 

apart from my newly purchased CDs. my other current listen ( and i would definitely rate this as the artist of the month) is Peace Orchestra a.k.a Peter Kruder. old stuff yet i never get tired of listening. its hypnotic. i especially like to listen to his tracks when i wanna get in the zone or when i'm emotionally/ physically fatigue. it helps numb the senses and drowns out the bosses incessant yelling and the background.  

i find this project very cute. remember back in the days when you discovered a whole new world under the table? tempering with your sense of scale.  its by this japanese architectural firm SpaceSpace

no particular... (monday) blues

recently gramaphone was having a clearance sales (which has been ongoing for almost a year). anyway, so i decided to snoop around the store. the cd's were going out as cheap at a dollar. i stumbled upon this CD...

plain acoustic piano with conversations between Mehldau and Marian at every intervals of piano playing. very interesting. it does give reverence to each song played.

i am sure by now all of you would know that the piano is my most favorite instrument. with great regret i do not know how to play the piano. i would also add that Renzo Piano is also one of my favorite architect. however they have no direct relation whatsoever. it was just pure randomness that i decided to mention my admiration for the architect. 

I can't believe a 90 year old women can still play with so much grace and there is this touch of innocence in the way she weaves the melodies. very different from Mehldau's.

despite her age... she does not seem like her fingers are failing her. okay i shall not insult any further. many have said that i have a negative perspective to things (i do not need your concurrence in this matter). 

throughout the CD i felt in some ways she was flirting with him through the music. haha. but at 90, she still has that spirit of learning. deeply admirable.

crazy thing... this vintage lady was the reason behind the birth of Mehldau. freaky stuff.

other newly purchased CDs. christian scott, cachiato, patricia kaas, laura fygi, colormebadd (for a freakin dollar). just to name a few.

when the sun is high... in the afternoon sky

happy mother's day.

last night over drinks with lai, we decided that we should sign up for yoga classes. the thought of us agreeing that we should try it out was hilarious. simply because i had been contemplating of signing up before but just never had the motivation to actually go for it. 

we both agreed that one very important criteria is that we should go for the unisex yoga classes. simply because it would be much more interesting and less of a target for people of the same sex. 

did you know that one hour of yoga session is equivalent of running 4 kilometres in 2 hours. or something like that. imagine the amount of calories burnt in just one session. haha.

i am beginning to develop a belly again. yesterday i decided to wear my blue wave t-shirt. after fitting it on, i couldnt help but notice the pear shape around the tummy waist line. it looked horrendously gross. and so i immediately changed my t-shirt to another less tight one and felt very sad after.  my exercising regime has been very in-consistent. i have been struggling to get up earlier on saturday mornings. i feel so lethargic. 

in love... in vain

(this entry has been removed and relocated)

spring is here...

back from the land of century egg congee, dim sum, juicy fat char siu, roast goose, Portuguese tarts, and many many more wonderful food!

such a pity the tour gang were not so much of food people. each time i run off to get a snack they would always give me a look that i'm some sort of a glut. its not a place to have just 3 proper meals a day. its snack snack snack. hahha!

work starts tomorrow... dread. whoa i spent the whole evening of return doing the laundry and unpacking. of course i did not forget my baby. the first thing i did was to turn her on. wah... magical.

anyway, some highlight snap shots. i'm not a very good photographer (as of most people are) and i do not carry a huge fancy camera (as of most people do). but what i lack in skills i make up with Heart. uiseh... ceh.

HK's main star attraction... the building comes alive at night.

i must give it to them... preserving their heritage and history despite all that modernity 
art and culture at the waterfront... penny for your thought?
sad yet enchanting... my hostel was just next to it. not much different.
still a surreal landscape to me... 
magnificent... in a tacky way.
its all in the outer appearance... whats inside does not really matter.
foster was here...
the million dollar skyline...
Macau and its churches... endless.
no durian spikes...
breathtaking... 

so while the whole gang will probably gloat of how much they enjoyed themselves over at BeerFest during the weekend... i will tell them how many "chio bu" i've seen.

blame it on my youth...

staring in front of my imac while typing this entry is just surreal. i never imagined this very day would come. i was having butterflies in my tummy as i was on way to receive this beau. its almost like seeing your first born child being brought into this world. haha. SH would kill me if he finds out i made such comparison.

of course the whole macintosh thing isnt a new thing for me. given that i am already an avid cult member for the past 7 years. but this is my first very own desktop purchased using my hard earn cash. and the monitor is just so friggin huge. things will never ever be the same again. the last desktop i had was during my first year of college before i became a Mac convert. but it was a second hand desktop. the specs was customized, hence it wasnt a bad PC. it was capable of playing computer games and it was where i tried my first hand on photoshop and autocad.

this definitely marks a new phase in my life or so SH says. and he followed up by saying... "and now all you need is a gf..." i was like... "what the... ?!"

but instead of posting photos of my iMac. i shall instead upload a picture of SunHo the grumpy little baby.

*note: this is the first time i'm holding an infant in my entire life.


i asked SH's dad of how it feels to be a grandfather now. instead he told me that he will not officially be a grandfather until SunHo actually acknowledges him as his grandfather. haha. SH's dad is very nice. seriously my whole perception of koreans has changed.

and so... whats the first thing i should use my mac for? install microsoft word and type out my minutes of course!

just say yes... dammit.

the weekend has ended. it was a rather eventful weekend to say the least.

i just bought a new external hard disk. i am seriously running out of space. i've accumulated so much junk until my current external hard drive is incapable of storing them. its time i clear all my junk from my office PC.

Anna Karenina @ esplanade performed by the Finnish National Ballet at the end of May. i should purchase my tics. i must say, i really dun like it when they do they tip-toe dancing routines. it always makes me feel uncomfortable. but i love how the way they sway their bodies. so flexible and... sexual. oh! sexual healing...

3 business days...

on my way back from bible class i decided to tune my ipod to Buble. i have not listen to his songs for quite sometime. and i stumbled on "save the last dance for me". a very catchy tune. always makes you feel like dancing along unlike the majority of his tracks that are usually more mellowed. but anyway,everytime i listen to this song. it always brings back good memories of the road trip. i think it was to the great ocean road with my then cell group and when i was with jm. haha. most of the time the trip was rather stressful. man, try being a cell leader for a disproportianate group of girls/ guys and the latter being the minority. the fun part however was during our journey in the car. it was the first time i saw the tall boy dancing to the music. he was usually quite shy and solemn. but anyway i think he really liked that song. because we kept looping it. ah those were the care free days. remembering the tall boy... who is still a boy. the last i heard of him was he became the chairman of OCF. rather ironic given that back then all he wanted to do was hide and made plans to leave. things change, but i think its because he made more friends and felt more accepted. thats always the case i guess. when someone feels negative about something, its usually because he feels the lack of acceptance. plus he got together with jm's mentee - theconstantlydistressedgirl. strange combo.

oh! and i just realise that you can pay your bills online! amazing stuff. singapore is really advance man. i was compiling all my bills this morning to make payment at the SAM machine on my way to work, then suddenly i saw some tiny footnote about online payment. and it hit me... maybe i can pay this online. so! i did! then i tried paying my credit card bills... unfortunately that didnt go down so well. sigh. so inconvenient.

now that 2 people have handed in their resignation letter. the whole office is in silent chaos. most are rather shock to be losing the funny guys. at first they were not sure who exactly threw in their letters. so they started analysing every colleague. of coz we who knew just kept quiet. because its not in our business to say. i was surprise that when it came to me. no one gave much of a thought that i would resign. in fact one said taht if i were to be fired, i would be holding on dearly to the front door begging not to be. man their comment was taht i die die must stay to become one of the directors. damn. im not as steady as they think man. sigh.

also... i've finally put my money down on the imac. arriving soon. man... its 2 dollar chicken rice from here on for me. say goodbye to yakitoris and juicy steaks. sad.
at first, me and SH decided to go down the apple store after work yesterday to get the mac there and then. we were so excited. well i was excited and block out all negativity of spending so much money, and SH was just kaypoh and wanted to feed his happiness and envy through me. haha. because now that he has a kid, he must sacrifice his dreams of getting a mac. man i feel sad for him. i'm livin his dream. imagine, he downloaded all the relevant mac software and did thorough research on it and was all set. in the end, his research became my benefit and all the software will be installed into MY IMAC! muahahahaha.
he even brought his digital cum video camera to record this memoriable moment, which i thought was abit strange. it was weird having him filming the whole event of getting the mac. unfortunately, after negotiating and inquiring on the mac, we decided not to get it from the store but rather purchase the thing online. the people were short changing us and the fella smell of cigarettes. he looked rather sleazy as well trying to cheat a poor little malaysian. we concluded that it was far more worth it to get it online.

and so.... i did! it was a happy yet very very painful experience. you all should had seen me struggling and how hard it was for me just to click on the purchase button.
but i figured... given that i have no real commitments and debts... so why not? dun wanna make such a decision when im married and about to have kids. haha.
well i suggested SH that he can still opt for a trade-in. im sure sunho can fetch for a pretty decent mac. in fact he probably can trade-in for the power mac. awesomeness. he thought i was crazy.

sigh. beauty above all matters. imagine... i have 1000 gigabytes of harddisk space! thats ultimate kiasuness.

oh my goodness! just realise that the playoffs are on. heard over the radio when i was waiting for them to do re-runs of date-mate. wanted to listen in to the recent date-mate winner who is also a friend of mine. haha. lai signed up for the competition out of boredom or so he says. and so he managed to asked a girl who is 9 years older than him for a date through the radio DJ for a date at the regency hotel. man. he should had asked me lor. i would've said yes for sure. too bad the dinner at the Regent hotel doesnt come with a room. man... i would definitely make use of the facilities if it did.
okay okay... back to the playoffs. its times like these that i wish i had a tv. sigh. hope Boston kicks the Bull's ass.

but beautiful...

just return from visiting my little godson. i got SH a book- the giving tree, as a belated present. simple yet beautifully crafted story. but its uncomparable to what he has received. every other gift i find is just insignificant. plus the gift i got for the baby boy is way more cooler- a stroller. i spent the whole day afternoon at vivo trying to crack my brain in getting him a nice gift. ofcoz i can definitely say that my gift was far better then what i received for my birthday last year from him... a box of hankerchiefs. haha. ofcoz then i realise that it is a very popular book in korea apparently. he was given one when he was young and hari had 2 copies of the book. one in korean and the other english. darn. okay so then its for SunHo then.

it was my first time holding a baby. and i am not very good at it. too fragile for me. the whole time i was just worried i would accidently snap his neck. i think Hari felt the same way as well.

well observing how the newly made parents handle themselves is so amazing. goodness me. the environment in the house has changed. hari seems so flabergasted and distracted. she cant leave the baby anywhere out of her sight. i could just see the mother instinct in her eyes and behavior when we are around the baby.
then i was forced to watch how the baby was being bathed. SH insists that i observe for my future benefit. man... its a very tiring task. the preparation work is so exhaustive and everything had to be done within 10 minutes or the baby would freeze to death. i didnt want to see the whole process and wanted to sneak over to do the dishes. but i was not allowed and must watch the whole ten minutes of the process. then i decided to be a bit more useful and video recorded the whole event. haha. seeing parents working as a team just to please that little boy. so precious. Hari was telling me how much her life has changed just by a matter of seconds. she began to understand why mothers see how beautiful her child is and she honestly thinks that he is the most handsomest boy in the whole world. i just thought to myself of how tiny he was and he would grow up to be a very hairy boy. haha. then i asked SH if this feeling is equivalent to having a new imac. haha. the answer was that it is no where near that feeling but whole new level.

we also took the opportunity to celebrate black day for me, which was supposed to be on April 14. the day SunHo was born. haha. he's a black day baby. i was served korean black Ja Jiang Meon as a symbol of my singlehood. tasty nonetheless.

sigh. okay... remind myself. PAY THE BILLS!!

shaggy doodle...

i was given the day off for our hard work till 5am this morning. i am so shag right now. was intending to go shopping for birthday present and to seriously look into getting that imac and to get a new portable hard-disk for motives i shall not say. hehe.

In the end i ended up spending the day at home. however, for few hours i had to hang out at the nearby coffee shop because they were fogging all the refuse chutes. so i spent 2 hours stoning at the coffee shop dreaming and watching the traffic controller managing the traffic as there were some road works going on. i realise that it isnt a very easy job to do. and it looks like a rather boring yet tiring task. but someone has to to do it.

anyway, when i got home the place was all smoky and filled with kacats. so i had to sweep the little stupid cockcroaches that managed to escape out the chute.
oh i hate them cockcroaches. they are evil and dirty and evil. why on earth did he created them? disgusting. so just to be sure, i gave them a super duper wiff of shieldtox just to be safe and to make sure that they are totally killed. disgusting. little devils. yuck. disgusting. stupid creatures. they seriously suck man. horrible creatures. lousy insects. a shame of the insect world. dirty dirty little critters.

ooooookay. i think i better go shower and head out now. its FRIDAY NIGHT!

tired eyes and a dead brain...

finally the long suffering is near over. i still dont think we have a chance on winning this based on our scheme. the diagrams are spot on noentheless. haha. we manged to salvage as much my little conceptual doodles for the presentation board. hope it stays all the way till submission.

i have been a total ass the past few weeks. so grumpy and moody that whoever came close could feel my black aura. but you now start to see little smiles of relieve here and there. but the scares and wounds still remain. man this was the most painful competition i had to work on. not so much on the work but on the stress from the management and the politics. sigh. times have really change.

i think sis and anne felt the brunt of it. haha. i can be such a neh-neh. i say so many crappy things and feel so sorry for myself that i wish someone could just slap me... and hug me at the same time. haha. i need lots of love. love deprivity.

i feel so much older now but the company is not moving in tandem with me. seriously it is rather sad when you realise every morning i wake up i have thoghts about how and when i should leave during the whole journey to the office. telling myself all the things and reason why i should move on. planning my next phase of life. its actually quite exciting yet scary at the same time. i have been rather comfortable from where i am. i realise that i have begun to understand and know what i want to do. of course the next if i am given the opportunity to do so. and the office cant offer me this even if they say they are able to. i wouldnt say they are lying if they fail to keep their promises but rather its just in their nature. and they will forever see me in this way as young and in need for their strict guidance. but i need to move on, to see how much farther i can stretch. it seems that i am never ever satisfied. i am always wanting more. i am never really convince of what i have now is of my potential. i never am very satisfied of peoples oppinion and assesment of me. sigh.
i still find it rather sad to have such thoughts of leaving. mainly perhaps it was the first and only company i have worked in Singapore. and i experienced so much there be it good or bad. it was life changing no doubt. but i am starting to see how small the office world is. and i need to see my self in bigger things. see what more can i learn and be. spread these wings and see how far can i really go. have what i learn in the company really been beneficial. i would only know when i leave then will i finally be able to realise that.

i need to know if architecture is more and beyond mkpl.

oh my goodness... my bones are aching. i better rest. sigh... i missed netball today.

but i hate it...

the long weekend is over. unfortunately it was not exactly an enjoyable one this time around neither was it very long. well atleast i managed to squeeze in some leisure time over the past few nights. just finished cleaning the apartment. it was in such a sorry sad neglected state.

the whole weekend was spent in the office. if the boss says i did not put enough hours on this project. i would be utterly speechless.
given that we weren't really much keen on working at the office today. we decided to have a long lunch break.
jon has indeed changed so much. its amazing how God works. i remember trying to avoid him as much because he was such an obnoxious boy who smokes like a chimney and talks like an ass during my Archi uni days. okay i admit, i am a very bad testament/ salt and light to the world. to think i was so worried when the bosses wanted to rehire him. my predictions of his nuisance was all wrong. i like the new jon.

and i am not liking the new him just because he's a christian. believe me i find it very hard to like christians. alot of them can be real shitheads. just remember the most recent christian encounter back in the days of OCF. perhaps its me... i'm not sure.

it was rather strange to be discussing about God with him over lunch. nevertheless we discussed about our plans for the immediate future and how we struggle trying to fit God in it. okay, more like how we cant seem to fit around or have a clear idea of His plan. things in the office has really been deteriorating. the working environment now is seriously very fucked up ( i think thats the only way to describe the present situation in crude clear terms). so we both have already drafted our letter of resignation. we only discovered that we had both did roughly around the same time.
however, the biggest problem we face is finding the correct timing to do so. the both of us struggle in trying to grasp what God's plans are at this very moment. what actions should we take and if the decisions are of our own flesh or by his divine guidance. even discussing this dilemma was so frustrating. we kept banging the table expressing how impatient we are in waiting for Gods signal. of course there is the fear that we might had missed it altogether as well. we agreed and know that its not about sitting around being passive waiting on God to intervene but we have to make the active move ourself. much like having to study before the exams even if we had seek God's help. so the question is what actions should we take? its not as simple and straight forward as studying for an exam. the things we want to do may not be what God had in mind. sigh. its hard to explain.

then again perhaps we thought that this is a time of suffering much like in the days of the isrealites enslaved by the egyptians. haha! its the current book im studying so no surprises there. hehe.

i know that it is indeed God's plan of my choice being in Singapore. for one is because it was not a plan that i had anticipated and despite that, everything somehow fell into place without any huge fuss. hence i knew it was in His plan. much as the rest of my life is thus far. from college all the way till present. now however is the problem. i know that i have a plan of getting from A to B. but the problem is the path in between of reaching to B.
At the end of last year, i had felt and told myself that it was time to move on. either relocate or a simple change in work environment in singapore. but when Lehman brothers suddenly collapsed, all my supposed plans went into shambles. timing is indeed the biggest question. i believe and trust that God will provide and lead but at the same time i hesitate and am scared because i am only human.

looking back on my conversation with jon earlier. i felt like a tear had escaped from my eye, the very thought that i would never had imagined having such conversations with him mellows me. God has really changed him. him rushing to attend church and discussing bible verses with me is so encouraging yet weird.

decided to flip to Proverbs 12. this was jon's answer to last nights prayer. haha. and so i did... very funny because it applies to the current bastard thats causing all the distressing havoc in the office.

here are a few verses that is directly applicable to the american boy...

proverbs 12: 2 - a good man obtains favor from the Lord, but the Lord condemns a crafty man...

proverbs 12: 8 - a man is praised according to his wisdom, but men with warped minds are despised...

proverbs 12: 15 - the way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice...

proverbs 12: 16 - a fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult...

okay i think i've said enough. im just very thrilled that a former rebel is sharing bible verses with me.

in the end we both agreed that we will continure to be nice to him even though our hearts are just raging with fiery anger. we're really just trying to find peace.

okay i better go finish up my bible study homework. i've already missed 2 consecutive classes. cant afford to miss the coming one.

it was a good friday... to work.

this whole weekend will have to be spend in the office. there goes my long weekend... goodbye!
things have been getting really ugly and unpleasant in the office. there is a lot of tension and back stabbing around. and to think of it... its all happening because of one man. and he's american.
since his arrival, he has created much havoc in the office. behind our backs telling the boss of how lazy and useless we are, and how hardworking he is because he's in the office every day working late. but seriously in actual fact... we all know (except for the bosses) that he's only there because he has nothing better to do. but if he continues this sort of behavior, he'll never ever have friends in the office to hang out with.
and so because of him, we're all forced to come back over the weekend to work. because... i quote 'its easy to break one chopstick... but difficult to break a bunch of them...' so says me female boss. what crap. seriously one big fat chopstick will also be hard to break or even a shorter chopstick. so its all matter of perception. this is not team work. its politics. and so my first experience on office politics.
this time around, the stress/ pressure is not coming from the work instead from the management. we're all working for the sake of showing our faces to the boss. its more important to show up than doing work.

sigh... oh well someday and somewhere... happiness is waiting... taking the words from maria and that american fella

but atleast the Friday was not spent all in the office. attended the Reinharrd Bonnke rally in the evening with CK + wife. it was like any other evangelistic rally. but i thought the P&W should had lasted longer. i have not had a long P&W session in the while and was more interested in that than the message. it was a massive crowd... a huge crowd with a majority of sick people. its pretty frightening looking back. a SARS/ Viral/ somesort of disease epidemic would had broken out in that stadium.
we stayed on to witness the earlier session of the final segment of the rally- the healing session, and decided to leave after when the speaker started to call all those who are sick to come to the front. such a pity, none of the people in the wheel chair from where i was standing got up to walk.

may you rest in peace... mr pipe organist for Lygon COC.

gu gu the cat...

my apologies on my previous entry. i did not explicit meant that girls suck per se. instead i was actually refering to thoughts of girls... which can be quite annoying and irritating. so i'm not blaming on girls... but truly on myself.

hope that clears the air... i realise the female readers might had been greatly offended by that.

don't get me wrong. i love girls. haha.

anyway... on to other things that are far more important than thinking about girls. i saw the trailer for GU GU THE CAT. the purpose for me wanting to catch this movie is not so much of the girl and storyline but more so of its involvement about a cat. the cat in the movie reminds me so much of Zumthor. heck it looks so much like her. sigh... i miss zumthor.
hmmm... i should had named her Zum Zum instead. things would had been so different if had done so. but its too late now! oh the sadness...



i hope i can rope in someone to watch this movie with me. it would be a little strange if i had to watch this movie alone. then again... i never really bothered much on watching movies alone.

meow!

i feel like blogging

just came back from no.5. hung out with lai. its really nice to hang out out with people who work in a totally diferent field or line of work. it can be be quite tiresome hanging out with people of the same field of work. discussing politics. especially if you are intending to escape from it all.

the boss has currently designated me to be full time on the competition. i am quite happy because then i will not have to attend the dreadful boring meeting and instead concentrate on works that i am able to control and manage.

i am kindda tipsy writing this entry. but given that i have internet access and the computer was on when i got back. i might as well write some thing thats passing through my mind.

i realise that almost 90% of the people in singapore are attached. this really amazes me. people whom i think cant possibly be attached are so.this makes me wonder and realise its so easy to get attached in singapore. i asked lai if it were true and he totally agreed. at the end of the day its all up to you if you want to be atttached. getting attached is not a concern. i mean thats what he says. then again he's pretty good lokking so i dont think its a concern.

wow i can still taste the screwdriver in my throat. nice. thats one of the perks of beign single. no one to control your life!! thats good!

so i realise that in singapore. no one wants to be lonely. any freakin body can find a partner one way or another.

okay. i mean to write more. but i think i better shower and hit the sack.

it has been a rather fruitful yet disturbing day. girls... such a pain. i can choose to have one. but i shall surpress! because girls fucking suck!!!!!!!

i am sleepy. spending the whole day trying to weave up the whole concept together. ureka!

anyway... wine on thursday. girls involved obviously.

fucking idiots...

read in the Yahoo! news today about the resignation of our dear PM - Pak Lah. henceforth we welcome (with not much of a choice) a new leadership... i doubt if it would be any better. pretty much the same actually.

apparently mr PM-to-be's main focus agenda is to 'unite the multi-racial nation...' what? what kind of fucking agenda is that?! that is the most bloody stupid statement i've ever heard. since when was this not the main focus agenda for all m'sian leaders?

why on earth do we need a PM to do that? they are the one that caused this big mess anyway. i really beh tahan. i'm really so pissed off. such an IDIOT!

as you can tell... i hate m'sian politics.


but seriously... thank goodness its F-R-I-D-A-Y !!

thank god its friday...

finally managed to finish and sent out my minutes and i'm ready for bed. it was a painful process having to work on my aging laptop. everything is a minute slow and the program keeps shutting itself down. sigh. yet again even more reasons why i should upgrade my mac. should i wait a little longer or just go for the kill? these days i rarely use my computer to work. but given the current new circumstances i might have to. word documents are but minor problems that i can endure using my laptop. but its the 3d modeling and photoshopping etc that would be a nightmare.

was pulled in to help out on the labrador competition at the very last minute. as usual the bosses have no sense of time management and neglected the work until the very last minute. in the end the rest of us have to suffer. i seriously do not like working pass 12am these days. having worked till 3am the night before definitely does not make going through the next day very pleasant. surprisingly theres jsut so much work to be done. i almost forgot that the world is in a global recession. its good that we are still busy. but at the same time unfair for us being constantly threaten to work hard because the bosses never ceased to stop reminding us of our dispensable state. talk about being appreciated.

now that thats over, the next 3 weeks i'm pulled in for another competition. apparently i'm the diagram expert. i am pretty anal about diagrams. i dont mind doing the work when theres a clear direction and the boss makes quick and concise decisions. having 2 years of working on competitions, we've learn how to manage the boss, unfortunately he has not learn how to handle the pressure and situations.

today on the way home. my colleague and i had a discussion about the office and our plans for the next phase in our career. both agreed that we eventually want to set out and do our own thing. we hate having to take orders from people and its definitely something we would not want to spend the rest of lifes in. when i say "thing" it can mean many different things. but of course the main "thing" specifically during the conversation was about starting our own practice. we both agreed that we shouldnt stay in this current office too long. even though the experience and exposure working in this office is exponential (2 years of working in the office is apparently 4 years working elsewhere), after a while will feel stagnant in our careers and become complacent in our architectural drive. given that the office has a very draconian boss we are forced to rely on them wholly. i am worried that might not have sufficient tools and capabilities to sell myself elsewhere. but he said that we would never know our full potential until we leave our current office given the very nature that the bosses have a way of making us feel very small and incompetent without them.

i am beginning to feel rather jaded in the company. not because of the work but of the bosses BS ethics and way of running the office. we have to admit the management is not super fantastic. i realise that most of us are just waiting to be sacked or retrench. because that would speed up the whole resignation process. a normal resignation would require a months notice in advance and normally the final month at the office is not very pleasant. the bosses tend to get personal and hateful towards those who are resigning. plus we have to go through the painful handover process. the more i think about it the more irritated i feel.

the reason i'm still here apart from the stupid recession is the current work im handling. i hope to finish up both of my tender documentation. that would really bulk up my already relatively impressive portfolio.

sigh... so we're just waiting on the world to change. unfortunately not to the way we hope it would be.

merry christmas mr lawrence...

finally i'm hooked in and ready to go. plenty of internet glitches on the first day unfortunately. such a nuisance. i totally forgot how to use my laptop. having internet at home is rather strange to me.

i manage to get hold of the complete dischography of Ryuichi Sakamoto's music. such a great master. must lispect ol grit masta. arigato. sayonara. suzuki. toyota. hait! i have much to learn-doh.

cold noodles at SaeHoon's new place last night. delicious-doh. so honored to have him whip up his best dish for the guest of honor. arigato. and hari's belly is humongous! can't believe they are soon to be parents in just a matter of weeks. scary. i hope i can be at the hospital to see the action. i can volunter to be the designated camera man. even though my skills are lousy. just hope he's not OT-ing when the baby decides to pop out.
Hari was showing me her little baby journal. she actually made a chronology of the whole 9 months. she even drew little sketches of her soon to be baby in section and a picture of her stomach being kicked by the baby. I think sae hoon is just plain worried from now onwards. such a scary thought. soon enough they will not be able to hang out with me much anymore. sigh.
Then she showed me photos of their italy holiday. well it was her visit to italy while he was studying. after the whole trip. Saehoon made a little photo book album. they are so in love. i especially like the ending photos at the airport as her trip was coming to an end. their eyes were sore red. tragic.

had lunch with my former landscape arch for duchess today. i have not seen her since she left her previous firm. atleast she looks less grumpy as compared to back then. haha. we're planning a trip to HK. guess i wont be seeing me sister in May if it materialises. tsk tsk. sorry sis. just so you know atleast you was on my mind as one of the getaway plan.

after last night. i have decided that i will marry the girl who plays 'merry christmas mr lawrence' on the piano. beautiful song.

its close to 1am. pass my bedtime.

thinking...

its a rainy saturday afternoon. the morning was pleasant despite i was struggling to open my tired eyes from last nights kay's farewell outing. its so sad to see her go. i will miss her phone calls with her cantankerous contractor.

after dropping by at work in the afternoon. i decided to pay the national museum a visit. my first trip for the year. the Christian Lacroix exhibit was on displaying his stage costume designs. the place was flooded with young girls armed with their cameras taking every sketch and dress piece. they must be young fashion designer students. just take photo and copy the style first.

sigh. after the going through the exhibit i heaved a deep sigh of despair, yearn, and anxiety. i want try out stage set designing. i am still very disturbed by the set design for the nutcracker ballet. yuk.

oh well, perhaps as soon as i complete my next set of tender documents will things start to open up. haha.

lunch at SH's new place tomorrow. hopefully his wife's swollen eye would be healed by then. korean cold noodles.

i wonder if they would make a movie out of Kafka on the shore. not jap anime style please.

i have this sudden love for radiohead and beyonce's - i am sasha...

i'm on MC...

its a rainy monday. im officially zonked out and fatigued to the bones. hence a monday off would hopefully rejuvenate things.

it was rather strange seeing ChingLing taking the plunged into the world of marriage life. but besides seeing her giving herself to some stranger, the 7 year hiatus reunion was good. its amazing how after 7 years none of us really changed. so when will we see each other again? probably the next wedding. i'm guessing it'll be an annual thing? i dunno. everyones getting older.

sitting on the other side of the fence...

home office... and beer bellies.

so much paper work to do!! i seriously have to consider internet service at home... sigh.

gives you hell...

finally after 3 grueling weeks of late nights and constant stress. the documents are finally packed and sent to its rightful destination. a big sigh of relieve indeed. siiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggghhhhhhhhh!

and as a small reward... i got friday off! yea you do the math... 3 weeks of hard work is equivalent to 1 day off. cheap labor!
nevertheless, so the best way to start the day off was to sleep in. sleeping in has become a very rare occasion from my previous life as a student now that my morning weekends are taken up by various activities as well.
i guess when you start working, you begin to appreciate every free time you get and you want to spend more time during the day under the beaming sunlight rather than the dark quiet lonely nights. breakfast times are a blessing. seize the day people!

ofcourse this does not mean that the busy times are over just yet. infact that was just a crash course burn out stress thingy or what my bosses consider it as an ECA (extra curricular activity). i must not deny, it was quite an exciting and brain stimulating period.
but now its back to the slow killing stress of the everyday worklife. and i better show my interest in my work. a dear colleague of mine jsut got fired just because she applied leave for the CNY holiday. ofcourse theres more to the story, but after working for the office for 3 years you would think she'd be appreciated and not be rid with just by a snap of the finger. it's a cruel cruel world. its a big blow to the office losing her, she was good at her job and one of the best project architect handling one of the toughest job... mad dog contractor and a neh neh client- capita"fucking"land. fuck you capitaland ceo! nowonder your so rich its because your just damn stingy and your subordinates are just a pain in the ass! think gollum.
well, it serves them right i guess for making such an irrational decision to terminate her contract. cant believe they still wanted her to come back to do a proper handover of the project. no way i would come back after that... fuck you! i would say.
dad always say we have to be nice to everyone and neer make enemies, because you never know what might become of in the future. but i still think we shouldnt let ourselves be so low and be nice to every fucking idiot just because. good advice but not applicable to every situation. life is much bigger than that.
and so... fuckthememployerswithnospinewhodoesnotwanttotakeresponsibilityfortheiractions!
its really a damn fucked up world. and we're all tied to a string because of these bad times. fuck you wallstreet!

you can tell that even after my long rest, i'm still very grumpy. and i just remembered! i have not booked my tickets for the putri gunung ledang musical! sigh.

just saw photos from erik's wedding. pity i wasnt able to make it. his wife actually looks like claudia teh abit.

anyway, i better go run my errands. dinner at aston's tonite! its time to reward myself with a big fat cheap juicy steak!

my weekend read...

the first no CNY... in 26 years

i was so much grumpier and angrier around noon time. but after time things started to cool down and i began to rethink rationally on my thoughts. at the end of the day, it was my choice to stay and see through this competition. i guess naturally i immediately took control of the team the day i was inserted into the team. this impulse is partly due to the fact that i want to avoid being screwed by the boss if all fails and the fact that eveyone else is just plain useless and stupid like fucking idiots. no one has that compelling passion and urge to get this done well. sigh. after so long still nothing much has been done. you would expect that by the last 2 weeks we would be focusing on the presentations et all. instead i came in with nothing actually done complete nor well. everything was a mess no detail design was done which was the important task after all the brainstorming bullshit. everyone was so concern of the other doing less or "easier work" than them. and it was a slight sensitive task when i start to assign task. after revising 3 competition schedules, we're still behind time. i do not want to stay back and skip CNY in vain. the only other member that is doing his job is the main designer - SH. very stressful he is. and his wife is in the verge of falling into depression. she hardly sees him or has his full attention. and she's pregnant and due in 2 months. wow, more of these stress i fear he might just kill himself or explode. i do not want to be there when that happens.

well, thats one competition soon to end and another one waiting at the finishing line. it never ends.

i believe most family reunion dinners should have finish by now. right now everyones probably hanging around grandmas house making small talk while watching the grandkids and lil cousins run around the house while all the wifes are behind cleaning up and catching up on each others life.

the week has not been as bad as i imagined. met up with A-Gan for dinner on saturday. i discovered that he's attached?! wow. and later a friend of mine hooked me up with his girlfriend's BFF for a double date to catch a late chic flick show. it was a relatively amusing show. but i would not pay to see it in the cinema. but i think the purpose was more of meeting the person than the movie. being alone in the office on a sunday evening is quite pleasant. but it is getting late. and i need to eat.

oh! i downloaded the complete discography of FOB, SnowPatrol, Aqualung, BenFolds, ChrisBotti, AAR, and Enya's latest album, and and the OST of Laputa! booyah! its the little office abusing that gets you through the day. hehe. koreans are so illegal and resourceful.

last night... when we were young

back at the asylum for the holidays. its always great to be back. however, every passing year that goes by the more i feel a sense of distance from the place. i begin to realise my being and presence in this house fading through the years. the scent that airs my room does so vaguely exists. the only assurance of that being my room is the left behind possessions and the photos displayed around the house. i am not saying that i do not feel at home at every passing year. instead its this sense of change in my life that progresses on, and this house which is a container of the past and the gap between my present feels gradually increasing.

nevertheless holidays are good. initially i thought i'd be able to catch up on some work during the break. but on my way to the airport i realised that i had left the CD with all my supposed holiday work at the apartment. ofcourse i can always ask my colleagues to attached over the files to me. the moment when i first turn on the home computer i was bombarded with dad's movie collection of more than 50 files in the the hard drive. instinctively, i thought to myself, "how am i ever gonna finish all of these shows within this short span of a holiday?". And so instead i have been spending my holidays alternating between watching movies (i've completed 8 so far), reading (i am in near completion of Italo Calvino's if on a winter's night a traveler), astro-ing (mostly MTV and the asianfoodchannel), playing with the bratty TOTO, and the occasional eating/ snacking(mom's minced meat pie... heavenly gastronomia). i have not eaten so much in a day for a long time. mom thinks the reason that i'm constantly in need to snack is because im on holiday mood, and people tend to lose appetitie when we're working. well that may be true, but i have another theory which is the mind of the matter. mentally i know that i have no food in my Sg apartment therefore i never had any cravings. but being home here in KK i know theres food everywhere. so my brain tells me to go search for food and go nuts about it. thank goodness i'm only here for a short period of time.

i received a phone call from cvk today. he was utterly furious that i did not inform him of my returned and he had to discover this from another friend. i was hermitting. in fact he asked me what on earth can i do here in KK. so i told him exactly that thats the reason why i did not bother calling anyone. because there's just nothing to do here but stay at home and hibernate. apparently it wasnt a very good excuse for not notifying him of my presence.

having returned to kk. i have managed to fulfil my few agendas i had set out doing or more of eating perhaps. most of it was achieved within 3 days from the day of my return with the exception of last night's dumplings at ChuanHing (still the best ever, like... totally yea) and we tried a China brewed beer - Tsingtao. dad was very game about trying new stuff and he was very thristy. paul was just denying how much he "doesn't" consume so much alcohol in his life. whilst drinking this new found beer, we also discovered that the beer has been around long before tiger beer has, and in addition, the brand was created the year after the last emperor of China- Puyi was born. amazing stuff. so this is encouragement to all Astro lovers. tv is good for you. however, i do wish to pay Peppino a visit again if possible as well as to sit at the deck along the waterfront for beers while overlooking the sunset. you know, i would had been there at this very instant if only i had a means of transport. amazingly the one and only car left that i am capable of driving is in the workshop. unfortunately not able to do banking today as well. perhaps tomorrow after dental.

yes people, 2008 is coming to an end and i am very sad because my bonus has been so called "differed". sigh. instead of ending the year with a big bang! i'm left instead with a big bummer. sigh again. and i think the show how i met you're mother is very funny.

christmas prezzies...

from my thoughtful colleagues... how nice of them. i think the actual one i have is much nicer than this. and its sitting right on my desk when i return to Singapore. sigh. touched.

never let me go...

perhaps i should write before i leave the office. i have exactly 1 week before the office closure. apart from being excited, its also very worrying and stressful because i have to clear as much paperwork as i can before the year ends. sigh. well, sometimes these recessions are a blessing in disguise.

ofcourse apart from being the happiest time of the year. it is also the most depressing of times. year ends is the time when i tend to use my thoughts the most of irrelevant things. its when i do my reflection of what has happened thus far. of course last year was not as painful because it was a busy time at the office. its when all sorts of things just runs through my head. all the sighs, the goodbyes, the what if, the what's next, the how, etc. and you try to collate all of them together and try to make sense out of it but eventually you realised that all was meaningless thoughts that could had been put to more use to figuring out how to detail my car porch design. yet at the same time these thoughts are unavoidable.

oh shit! i should stop writing. its making things worst! its only a phase sam... its the monsoon weather.

when you wish upon a star...

surprise surprise... guess what i got for my birthday...

seriously, ask and you shall receive. muahaha! this is one of the greatest birthday gift ever. thanks to all who contributed. unfortunately none of them will be able to read this.

the birthday week has ended. i for one am not a big fan in celebrating birthdays. but the people here do think its an important day and all would make plans. well i could elaborate on the events, but im just too darn lazy to do so.

all i wanted was to post up and flaunt my new birthday gift! and so i did!

p.s. to mom+dad. thanks for the e-card. sadly none of my siblings wished me.
i know im just pushing my luck... but here goes... tsk tsk

i've got my... to keep me warm

it is the last long weekend for the year and i managed to spent it with much glee. i'm feeling slightly guilty that i didn't spent more time on work. the only work time i had was doing my minutes this morning. mom's 7.30am phone call brought me to life. we're having BEEF WELLINGTON for christmas! yay! right mom?
i actually woke up at 5.45am but went back to bed because i figured that its a holiday and i deserve the extra hour in bed. but i with further thought, i decided that i shouldnt lay around in bed all morning instead i should do useful things such as my minutes and laundry and cleaning the toilet and clearing my messy table. the weather in the morning was very pleasant. it was raining!

i think my trip to the marine barrage this evening is canceled due to the "splendid" weather. should i stay at home?